Dr. Floyd Godfrey

The reasons sexual addicts disclose their struggles are as varied as the individuals themselves. While the journey to disclosure is often fraught with fear and uncertainty, it also reflects a deeper yearning for healing, truth, and restoration.

Motivations Behind Disclosure

Disclosing a sexual addiction is rarely a simple decision. Many addicts wrestle with a combination of guilt, fear, and a desire for redemption. As Corley and Schneider (2012) observe, “Sometimes addicts disclose because they feel so ashamed and guilty that the guilt overwhelms them, so they tell” (p. 6). In such cases, the heavy burden of hidden sin drives the addict to seek relief through confession, often as a means of unburdening their soul.

In other instances, external forces prompt disclosure. Whether it is the pressure of legal consequences, workplace requirements, or the intervention of a trusted friend or therapist, disclosure may feel like a necessary act of damage control. Corley and Schneider (2012) explain, “Others are forced to tell because some authority (such as the law, a boss, a friend, or a therapist) insists on it, and they figure it is better to do damage control than have the partner hear about their addiction from someone else” (p. 6).

For some, the motivation is rooted in a sincere desire to align with their values. As the authors state, “Sometimes people tell because they think it is the right thing to do—they are trying to be congruent with their values, and deep down, they value honesty over lying even if they haven’t always told the truth” (Corley & Schneider, 2012, p. 6). This pursuit of integrity is a powerful step toward spiritual healing and a testimony to God’s transformative power in an individual’s life.

Biblical Foundations for Confession

Scripture underscores the importance of confession and honesty, both with God and with others. James 5:16 exhorts believers, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (Bible NIV, James 5:16). This verse reveals two critical aspects of disclosure: confession as a pathway to healing and the communal role of prayer in restoration.

When addicts share their struggles openly, they honor their relationships by fostering transparency and trust. Corley and Schneider (2012) emphasize this value, noting that “By opening up in a heartfelt way, the addict honors the partner and knows that the partner is making a choice based on truth and honesty” (p. 6). This act not only respects the partner but also aligns with the biblical call to live truthfully and in the light of God’s grace.

The Role of Spiritual and Therapeutic Support

Disclosing a sexual addiction is an act of courage that often requires the support of trusted spiritual and therapeutic guides. Pastors, counselors, and church leaders play a pivotal role in creating a safe and compassionate space for individuals to share their struggles. By emphasizing God’s forgiveness and the hope of redemption, these leaders can help addicts navigate the complex emotions tied to their confession.

Therapeutic intervention also provides practical strategies for disclosure, ensuring the timing and delivery promote understanding and healing. Incorporating spiritual principles into this process reinforces the addict’s decision to live in truth and seek God’s guidance in their recovery.

Conclusion

The decision to disclose a sexual addiction stems from a variety of motivations, ranging from overwhelming guilt to a desire for congruence with personal values. As James 5:16 reminds us, confession is a vital step toward healing, both for the individual and for their relationships. In sharing their struggles, addicts honor their partners, uphold biblical principles, and position themselves to experience the redemptive power of God’s grace.

Floyd Godfrey, PhD, is a Board Certified Christian Counselor and has facilitated groups within different churches and denominations over the past 30 years. He worked as a licensed clinician for 23 years and provided supervision and training for other counselors as they worked toward independent licensure. You can read more about Floyd Godfrey, PhD at www.FloydGodfrey.com.

References

Corley, M. D., & Schneider, J. P. (2012). Disclosing secrets: An addict’s guide for when, to whom, and how much to reveal. Recovery Resource Press.

The Holy Bible, New International Version. (2011). James 5:16. Biblica, Inc.