By Dr. Floyd Godfrey
One of the hardest parts of caregiving—whether you're a parent, pastor, counselor, or ministry leader—is that sometimes the people we care about the most hurt us in return. We pour out love, offer guidance, invest time and emotional energy, and still become the target of anger, blame, or criticism. It can feel unjust and deeply painful.
But if you’ve ever found yourself in this position, you're not alone. In fact, Scripture shows us that this is not uncommon for those who serve. Jesus Himself was misunderstood, criticized, and even betrayed by those closest to Him. His example teaches us that being faithful does not always mean being appreciated.
In caregiving roles, we often stand on the front lines of others' emotional pain. When someone is grieving, angry, or overwhelmed, their emotions may spill onto the safest person available—often, that's us. And while we may understand this intellectually, it still stings. If we're not careful, repeated blame and negativity can begin to erode our joy and sense of calling.
This is why it’s so critical for caregivers to recognize their limits and protect their hearts. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” That means we must be intentional about how we process our experiences. Instead of internalizing the harsh words of others, we return to God’s truth about who we are and why we serve.
It’s also essential to reach out for support. We would never tell someone we're counseling or ministering to just to “tough it out” or suffer in silence. Yet many caregivers believe they must bear their burdens alone. That’s not what God intended. Galatians 6:2 reminds us to “carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Finding a trusted friend, mentor, or peer to talk with can make all the difference. Sometimes, just knowing someone else understands helps us breathe again.
During a particularly difficult season of ministry, I found myself praying Psalm 27:10 daily: “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” It reminded me that even when others reject or misunderstand us, we are never alone. God’s acceptance is unwavering. His love isn’t dependent on our performance, nor is it shaken by others’ opinions.
Self-care also becomes essential during these times. That doesn’t always mean doing something big or dramatic. Sometimes, it’s as simple as creating space to rest, reflect, or worship. Other times, it’s taking a walk, journaling, or spending time in Scripture. These practices don’t solve everything, but they help us stay connected to the Source of our strength.
Finally, we must remember that Jesus told us to expect hardship. In Matthew 5:11–12, He said, “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven.” These aren’t easy words—but they remind us that even in the hardest moments, we are seen by God. He honors our faithfulness, even when others do not.
If you're a caregiver who’s become the target of negativity, I encourage you not to give up. Lean into God. Surround yourself with safe people. Take time to rest and remember your calling. You are doing holy work, and God will sustain you. He always does.
Floyd Godfrey PhD is a Board Certified Christian Counselor and has facilitated groups within different churches and denominations over the past 30 years. He worked as a licensed clinician for 23 years and provided supervision and training for other counselors as they worked toward independent licensure. You can read more about Floyd Godfrey PhD at www.FloydGodfrey.com.
