By Floyd Godfrey, PhD

For some young adult men, pornography use moves beyond occasional curiosity and begins to feel increasingly difficult to control. Researchers often describe this experience as problematic pornography use, or PPU. Common features include impaired control, persistent cravings, preoccupation, using pornography to change one's mood, and continuing despite personal or relational consequences (Fernandez & Griffiths, 2021). Current research also recognizes that problematic pornography use can occur within broader compulsive sexual behavior patterns, although researchers continue to debate whether pornography problems should always be conceptualized as an addiction (Ince et al., 2026).

When Use Begins to Feel Addictive

Warning signs often include repeatedly promising to stop but returning to pornography, escalating the amount of time spent viewing, searching for increasingly stimulating material, hiding use from others, losing sleep, neglecting responsibilities, or experiencing interference with relationships, school, work, or spiritual life. Craving and loss of control are especially common among individuals experiencing problematic sexual behaviors (Castro-Calvo et al., 2023).

Frequency alone, however, does not determine addiction. A young man may use pornography frequently without experiencing significant impairment, while another may use it less often but feel trapped by compulsive patterns, secrecy, and emotional distress. Careful assessment matters.

What Is Happening Beneath the Behavior

Pornography frequently becomes more than a sexual behavior. It may function as emotional regulation. Loneliness, boredom, anxiety, rejection, insecurity, anger, disappointment, or stress can create internal discomfort. Pornography temporarily changes that emotional state. Over time, the brain can learn an association: emotional discomfort leads to sexual stimulation, which provides temporary relief.

Patrick Carnes (2001) described addiction as developing within cycles of emotional pain, preoccupation, ritualization, sexual acting out, and despair. For young men, the behavior may therefore continue not simply because they want pornography, but because they have learned to depend upon it for relief.

The Shame Cycle

Shame can become one of the strongest forces maintaining the pattern. After viewing pornography, a young man may think, “Something is wrong with me,” rather than recognizing that he has developed a maladaptive coping strategy. Research connects problematic pornography use with shame, guilt, psychological distress, and lower self-esteem (Ince et al., 2026).

Comparison magnifies this shame. Young adults routinely compare appearance, masculinity, sexual experience, relationships, athletic ability, income, career progress, popularity, and social confidence. Social media makes these comparisons nearly constant. Pornography can add another unrealistic standard involving bodies, sexual performance, genital appearance, and sexual availability. When a young man concludes that everyone else is more confident, successful, attractive, or sexually competent, pornography may become an escape from the very shame those comparisons produce.

Growing Up Without Permission to Ask

Young men raised in conservative or highly restrictive homes may face another challenge. Some were taught strong sexual values but were given little opportunity to ask developmentally normal questions about attraction, masturbation, sexual thoughts, relationships, or pornography. Religious commitment itself does not cause problematic pornography use, but research suggests that moral conflict surrounding pornography can intensify guilt and perceptions of addiction for some religious individuals (Perry, 2017).

When sexual questions feel dangerous, embarrassing, or spiritually threatening, secrecy can replace conversation. A young man may become afraid not only of telling others what he is experiencing, but even of examining his own questions honestly.

Building Recovery Through Education and Support

Recovery involves more than blocking websites. Young men benefit from identifying triggers, learning emotional regulation, developing healthy sexuality, challenging distorted comparisons, strengthening relationships, and practicing honest disclosure within safe therapeutic environments. Cognitive behavioral approaches show promising evidence for reducing problematic pornography and compulsive sexual behavior symptoms (Antons et al., 2022).

Therapists and recovery coaches can help young men replace shame with responsible self-understanding. Accountability remains important, but accountability without compassion can deepen secrecy. Effective recovery teaches a young man to understand what pornography has been doing for him emotionally, then develop healthier ways to meet those needs.

A struggle with pornography does not need to become a permanent identity. With education, appropriate boundaries, emotional honesty, supportive relationships, and skilled professional help, young men can develop greater freedom, emotional maturity, and a healthier understanding of sexuality.

Floyd Godfrey, PhD is a Clinical Sexologist and a Certified Sex Addiction Specialist. He has been guiding clients since 2000 and currently speaks and provides consulting and mental health coaching across the globe. To learn more about Floyd Godfrey, PhD please visit his website: www.FloydGodfrey.com

References

Antons, S., Engel, J., Briken, P., Krüger, T. H. C., Brand, M., & Stark, R. (2022). Treatments and interventions for compulsive sexual behavior disorder with a focus on problematic pornography use: A preregistered systematic review. Journal of Behavioral Addictions, 11(3), 643–666. https://doi.org/10.1556/2006.2022.00061

Carnes, P. (2001). Out of the shadows: Understanding sexual addiction (3rd ed.). Hazelden.

Fernandez, D. P., & Griffiths, M. D. (2021). Psychometric instruments for problematic pornography use: A systematic review. Evaluation & the Health Professions, 44(2), 111–141.

Ince, C., Antons, S., Ashton, S., Borgogna, N. C., Brand, M., Briken, P., Castro-Calvo, J., Chen, L., Coleman, E., Efrati, Y., Fuss, J., Gleason, N., Gola, M., Jennings, T. L., Kowalewska, E., Kraus, S. W., Lewczuk, K., Grubbs, J. B., & Lew-Starowicz, M. (2026). Compulsive sexual behavior disorder and problematic pornography use: A comprehensive, interdisciplinary, and expert-informed narrative review with suggested future directions. Journal of Behavioral Addictions, 15(1), 32–98. https://doi.org/10.1556/2006.2025.00337

Perry, S. L. (2017). Does viewing pornography diminish religiosity over time? Evidence from two-wave panel data. The Journal of Sex Research, 54(2), 214–226.