By Floyd Godfrey, PhD
A Painful Truth for Many Teens
Discovering that your father—someone you've looked up to, trusted, and perhaps idolized—has had an affair or is battling sex addiction can be devastating. For many teenagers, this revelation isn't just disappointing—it's traumatic. Research shows that when family members are exposed to the consequences of sex addiction, including betrayal, secrecy, and emotional withdrawal, they may experience symptoms similar to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) (Laaser, 2012). The family's emotional system is disrupted, and for teens especially, the emotional and psychological toll can be profound.
The Trauma of Betrayal
The shock of discovering a parent's sexual betrayal can resemble other types of trauma in its psychological impact. Teens may feel anxiety, depression, confusion, and even guilt, wondering what they could have done differently to prevent the family disruption. Kevin Skinner (2017) has documented how betrayal trauma affects the brain and body, especially for young individuals still forming their identities and values. Teens may struggle to sleep, isolate themselves socially, or act out in rebellion—all responses that mask deeper grief and uncertainty.
When a Hero Falls
For many youth, a father is not just a parent but a hero—the protector, the guide, the moral anchor. Learning of his infidelity or addiction can shatter that image, leaving a profound sense of loss. This “fall from grace” can provoke a crisis of identity and trust. Teens may ask, “If my dad failed me, who can I trust?” Rebuilding their understanding of right and wrong—and separating their father's choices from their own values—can be a painful but necessary step in recovery.
Navigating Family Change
In many cases, these revelations lead to separation or divorce, and the family that once felt whole now feels broken. Moving between two homes, adjusting to new routines, and managing feelings of loyalty or resentment toward each parent can be emotionally exhausting. It's not just a change of logistics—it's the grief of a familiar life now lost. This emotional upheaval must be acknowledged and processed with care, especially as teens often feel pressured to “move on” before they've truly healed.
Therapeutic Tools for Healing
Professional counseling and mental health coaching are essential tools in helping teens process these experiences. Therapists trained in betrayal trauma or adolescent development can provide a safe space for youth to explore their feelings and reclaim their sense of stability. Support groups and recovery programs can also connect teens with others facing similar struggles, reducing isolation and shame. Educational programs that teach emotional regulation, healthy relationships, and boundary-setting help adolescents rebuild trust in themselves and others.
Hope Through the Journey
Although the journey may feel overwhelming, recovery and healing are absolutely possible. Teens can grow stronger and more resilient, developing deeper empathy and emotional insight. With the right support—through family therapy, coaching, or individual counseling—young people can redefine their own identity, untainted by the mistakes of their parents. In time, many even rediscover a new kind of relationship with their father, one based on honesty and growth rather than perfection.
Floyd Godfrey, PhD is a Clinical Sexologist and a Certified Sex Addiction Specialist. He has been guiding clients since 2000 and currently speaks and provides consulting and mental health coaching across the globe. To learn more about Floyd Godfrey, PhD please visit his website: www.FloydGodfrey.com
References
Laaser, M. (2012). Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction . Zondervan.
Skinner, K. (2017). Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal: The Essential Tools for Recovery . CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform.
