By Floyd Godfrey, PhD
Patterns and the Human Brain
Sexual addiction recovery often begins with understanding the deep-seated psychological patterns that drive behavior. As Patrick Carnes explains, "Humans are pattern seeking and pattern creating" (Carnes, Delmonico, & Griffin, 2001, p. 54). This tendency plays a pivotal role in how individuals form their sexual arousal templates—unconscious patterns developed early in life that dictate what a person finds sexually stimulating. Understanding this template is vital for counselors, therapists, and those in recovery, offering insights into why certain stimuli may repeatedly trigger compulsive behaviors.
The Origin of the Arousal Template
The arousal template is not random. According to Carnes, "Sexual arousal works on the same principle in that it is pattern based" (p. 55). These patterns are created during formative years, influenced by an individual’s environment and personal experiences. "You have an arousal template that is essentially a pattern you created unconsciously as you were growing up—one that determines what you find sexually arousing—whether or not you are now aware of its existence" (Carnes et al., 2001, p. 55). This unconscious development is often shaped by a complex interplay of factors: biology, culture, family dynamics, and personal history.
Developmental Influences
The influences that shape the arousal template are varied and multifaceted. Carnes outlines that "their formation is a complicated process involving many factors, including: physiology, biology and genetics, culture, including religious and ethnic background, family history, experiences of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse or exploitation, general life experiences, sexual history" (Carnes et al., 2001, p. 55). For some, these templates include unhealthy or traumatic components, particularly when abuse or neglect has been part of their developmental history. This highlights the necessity of individualized therapeutic approaches to deconstruct and reframe the arousal template during recovery.
Educational Strategies
Therapists and recovery coaches can assist clients by helping them identify these early patterns through education and reflection. Recognizing that arousal responses may be rooted in past trauma or learned behaviors can be enlightening and empowering. Clients benefit from understanding that these responses were often created unconsciously and can be reprogrammed. Psychoeducation can support individuals in shifting from shame to curiosity, enabling them to rewire their patterns through therapeutic processes such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, narrative therapy, or inner child work.
Therapeutic and Coaching Interventions
Effective interventions focus on helping clients explore the unconscious aspects of their arousal template, bringing awareness to what was previously hidden. Therapy provides a safe environment to unpack childhood experiences and how they contribute to adult behaviors. Professionals emphasize the importance of integrating this understanding into recovery plans, offering strategies for reshaping arousal patterns to align with healthy, consensual, and emotionally fulfilling expressions of sexuality.
Reclaiming Healthy Arousal
Understanding the arousal template offers individuals a roadmap for healing. Through therapy and guided introspection, those in recovery can gradually dismantle harmful patterns and cultivate new, healthier associations with intimacy and desire. This transformation is not only possible—it is hopeful. As clients gain insight and self-compassion, they often find themselves capable of experiencing arousal that is grounded in connection, trust, and emotional safety.
Floyd Godfrey, PhD is a Clinical Sexologist and a Certified Sex Addiction Specialist. He has been guiding clients since 2000 and currently speaks and provides consulting and mental health coaching across the globe. To learn more about Floyd Godfrey, PhD please visit his website: www.FloydGodfrey.com
Reference
Carnes, P., Delmonico, D., & Griffin, E. (2001). In the shadows of the net: Breaking free of compulsive online sexual behavior. Hazelden.
