Dr. Floyd Godfrey

Working with teenagers for over 20 years has given me firsthand insight into the struggles that many young people face today. Through my career, I have encountered numerous cases where teens use self-injury as a way to cope with overwhelming emotions. I've also had the privilege of learning from experts like Dr. Mark Mayfield, who provides essential knowledge about the mental health challenges teens face today. One startling fact he shared from Cigna's 2024 Vitality in America report is that “79% of young adults aged 18-24 report loneliness.” Loneliness and isolation can be significant contributors to the emotional pain that leads some teens to self-harm.

Understanding Self-Injury

Self-injury is a complex behavior, often misunderstood by parents, educators, and even peers. It is crucial to recognize that self-harm is rarely about seeking attention. As Dr. Mayfield (2024) highlights, “92% of the time a self-injuring teen is NOT suicidal. Self-Injury is deliberate and intentional, self-induced, non-lethal, causes bodily harm to reduce/avoid or communicate mental, emotional, physical or spiritual distress.”

In my experience, teens who engage in self-harm are often trying to make sense of emotions they cannot express in other ways. As Dr. Mayfield (2024) states, “Those who self-injure are struggling to make sense of their distress and for whatever reason are unable to communicate in a different way.” They may not have the words to describe their pain, and so they turn to behaviors that feel more immediate and tangible.

It is essential to distinguish self-injury from suicidal intent. While both behaviors may stem from deep emotional pain, they serve different purposes. Teens who self-injure are generally trying to cope with their feelings, not end their lives.

Addressing Anxiety and Mental Health Struggles

Anxiety is a significant factor contributing to self-harm. Dr. Mayfield (2024) shared that “31% of adolescents experience severe or persistent anxiety.” Anxiety can be overwhelming for teenagers who are already navigating academic pressures, social challenges, and family dynamics. Without healthy coping mechanisms, many teens feel trapped in their distress.

In my work with teens, I often see how their inability to express or manage anxiety leads to harmful behaviors like self-injury. By harming themselves, they feel a temporary release or relief from the emotional build-up they experience. It’s a coping strategy—albeit an unhealthy one—that offers some control over emotions that otherwise feel uncontrollable.

Parent Responses to Self-Injury

Parental reactions to self-injury are crucial in determining how a teen progresses toward recovery. When parents learn that their child is self-harming, their initial response is often fear or panic. However, as Dr. Mayfield (2024) wisely advises, “We must teach parents to respond not react.” A calm, supportive response can help teens feel understood and safe enough to open up about their emotions.

When parents react with anger, punishment, or fear, it can further isolate the teen, pushing them deeper into their distress and making self-injury more likely to continue. Instead, parents need to approach the issue with empathy and a willingness to listen without judgment.

The Broader Mental Health Crisis

The rise in mental health issues among teens is alarming. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported 49,476 suicide deaths in 2022, highlighting the severity of the crisis (Mayfield, 2024). The growing prevalence of self-harm, anxiety, depression, and suicide in today’s youth underscores the need for greater awareness and mental health support systems in schools, homes, and communities.

Conclusion

Teens and young adults who engage in self-injury are crying out for help in ways that may be difficult to understand but are deeply significant. With guidance and support, these teens can learn healthier ways to manage their distress. As mental health professionals and parents, we must respond with empathy, education, and open communication. The work is challenging, but with the right interventions, recovery is possible.

Floyd Godfrey, PhD is a Certified Mental Health Coach and has been guiding clients since 2000. He currently speaks and provides consulting and mental health coaching across the globe. To learn more about his services please visit his website: www.FloydGodfrey.com.

References

Mayfield, M. (2024, October). Help! My Teen is Self-Injuring: A Crisis Manual to Help Teens. Stand Strong - Mega National Christian Counseling Conference 2024. Dallas, Texas.