By Floyd Godfrey, PhD

Trauma bonding is a complex psychological phenomenon. In cases of sexual abuse, trauma bonding often emerges, entangling the victim in a confusing mix of attachment, dependency, and unhealthy connection with their abuser. When this occurs in young people, creating profound emotional and psychological confusion as they attempt to process abuse alongside their inherent needs for love, connection, and validation.

The Impact of Sexual Abuse on Childhood Needs
Sexual abuse is particularly devastating because it hijacks legitimate childhood needs for affirmation, affection, and mentorship, and distorts them through harmful experiences. Children naturally crave validation and connection, and abusers often exploit these needs. The abuser may pose as a caregiver or a trusted adult, manipulating the child’s desires for love and belonging. This exploitation leads to a confusing emotional experience in which the child may develop a bond to their abuser, even though the relationship is abusive. This distorted dynamic is a core component of trauma bonding.

For young individuals, the confusion around these emotions can be particularly challenging. They may struggle to differentiate between affection and exploitation, especially if the abuser has consistently fulfilled the role of a trusted figure in their life. This often leaves victims questioning their own feelings and responses, leading to internal conflict and self-blame. Many young survivors report feeling “complicit” in the abuse because of the perceived affection they held for their abuser, when in reality, this is a direct result of the trauma bond.

Sexualized Attachments and Confusion about Orientation
Sexualized attachments formed in the context of trauma can also lead to confusion about sexual orientation and identity. When abuse occurs at critical developmental stages, it confuses the victim's understanding of sexuality. Some survivors of sexual abuse may develop sexualized responses to the abuse or feel drawn to recreate certain dynamics later in life. This can manifest as confusion about their sexual orientation, not because of a natural inclination, but because of the trauma they experienced.

In these cases, victims might mistake the feelings resulting from their sexualized attachment for genuine attraction or identity. This confusion can cause distress, especially in young people trying to navigate their developing sense of self. Without proper support and understanding, many individuals may carry these distorted perceptions into adulthood, complicating their emotional and relational lives.

Healing and Recovery through Proper Information and Support
The path to healing from trauma bonds and sexualized attachments begins with understanding and proper support. For victims, it is crucial to recognize that their feelings are not a reflection of their true identity, but rather, a symptom of the trauma they endured. Therapeutic intervention, such as trauma-informed therapy, can help survivors untangle their emotions from their sexuality, and develop healthier attachments. Resources like educational materials, support groups, and professional counseling are essential in helping individuals move past the confusion and pain caused by sexual abuse.

Recovery from trauma bonding is a challenging process, but it is possible. With the right information, support, and therapeutic guidance, survivors can work through the confusion and reclaim their sense of self. Empowering young people and adults alike with proper resources is a key component of breaking the cycle of trauma bonding and fostering long-term emotional well-being.

Floyd Godfrey, PhD, is a Clinical Sexologist and a Certified Sex Addiction Specialist. He has been guiding clients since 2000 and currently speaks and provides consulting and mental health coaching across the globe. To learn more about Floyd Godfrey, PhD, please visit his website: www.FloydGodfrey.com.