By Dr. Floyd Godfrey

Throughout my clinical career, I have observed a consistent theme among both youth and adults, many are carrying deep emotional wounds from life events they were never prepared to face. These wounds are not always the result of major trauma. Sometimes they come from small, repeated moments of neglect, unmet emotional needs, or a lack of guidance during key developmental stages. Regardless of the source, the impact is the same: a diminished ability to navigate the inevitable struggles and disappointments of life.

Christian author Chip Dodd (2015) wrote, “Life is an abandoning process” (p. 23). This sobering truth acknowledges that no one escapes the challenges and heartaches of life. Whether we experience rejection, failure, loss, or betrayal, these moments have the potential to wound us deeply, especially if we lack the internal resources to process them in healthy ways. In my counseling practice, I have often seen individuals wrestle with confusion, shame, and emotional paralysis simply because their early experiences left them ill-equipped to manage pain.

Dodd (2015) also observed, “If you experienced a childhood where your spiritual and emotional roots were nourished, then you were prepared when life's abandonments came” (p. 23). Children raised in environments that honored emotional expression, encouraged spiritual growth, and provided consistent support tend to develop resilience. They know where to turn when heartache comes, and they are more likely to engage their pain with honesty and hope. On the other hand, many individuals, perhaps most, were not raised in such homes.

“However,” Dodd (2015) continues, “if your childhood thwarted, shut down, minimized, or taught you to deny your roots, then your capacity for growth was diminished, leaving you unprepared for the abandonments of life (or, for that matter, for experiencing the love of God)” (p. 23). These words resonate deeply with what I have witnessed over the years. When a child is not taught how to feel or talk about their emotions, they often become adults who avoid or suppress pain. This avoidance does not bring healing, it leads to relational breakdowns, spiritual numbness, and sometimes addictive or self-destructive behaviors.

It is important to note that no family is perfect. Dodd (2015) reminds us, “Each of us has received woundings, whether we're from a 'good' home, or an impaired home” (p. 23). This truth offers both a sobering reality and a measure of comfort. We all carry wounds; none of us are exempt. However, the path to healing begins when we recognize these wounds and allow God to meet us in them.

The Christian faith invites us to bring our brokenness to Christ, the one who was “despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:3, ESV). Jesus does not shy away from pain; He enters it with us. As we grow in our capacity to acknowledge and grieve our wounds, we also grow in our ability to experience God’s healing love. “A person who succeeds at living,” Dodd (2015) writes, “is capable of experiencing the heart most deeply when life's woundings come, and then getting up and moving on to new heights” (p. 23).

This is the redemptive journey I have seen many take through counseling: moving from numbed pain to honest sorrow, from isolation to connection, from despair to hope. It is never easy, but it is always possible.

Floyd Godfrey PhD is a Board Certified Christian Counselor and has facilitated groups within different churches and denominations over the past 30 years. He worked as a licensed clinician for 23 years and provided supervision and training for other counselors as they worked toward independent licensure. You can read more about Floyd Godfrey PhD at www.FloydGodfrey.com.

Reference
Dodd, C. (2015). The voice of the heart: A call to full living. Sage Hill.