By Dr. Floyd Godfrey

Many parents are concerned about the future of their sons, especially in a culture that often sends confusing or unhealthy messages about masculinity. As young men navigate the difficult transition from boyhood to adulthood, the presence of healthy male mentors is not just helpful, but is essential. These mentors provide stability, guidance, and a living example of what it means to grow into godly manhood.

Fathers, of course, are the most natural and foundational mentors for boys. Scripture encourages fathers to bring up their children in the training and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4), emphasizing both spiritual leadership and emotional presence. When a father is active, consistent, and godly, his influence helps shape a young man’s identity, character, and values. He teaches not only through instruction, but by example: how to handle stress, how to treat others, how to bridle his passions, and how to take responsibility for one’s actions.

Yet not every boy has the blessing of a healthy, involved father. Sometimes the father is absent, emotionally distant, or even destructive. In these cases, the need for healthy male mentors becomes even more urgent. Grandfathers, uncles, and other mature Christian men can step into the gap, offering a sense of continuity and stability. These men help fill the emotional and developmental void that can otherwise lead a boy toward insecurity, rebellion, or misplaced identity.

Uncles can offer a less formal, but still powerful, example of manhood. A grandfather often brings wisdom, calm, and the ability to share life stories that leave a lasting impression. And sometimes, a mentor outside the family (a church leader, coach, or trusted family friend) can provide consistent encouragement and accountability. These men can ask the tough questions, celebrate accomplishments, and speak truth in a way that connects with a young man's heart.

For single mothers, this reality is particularly challenging. Many of them carry the full emotional, spiritual, and financial weight of parenting without a male partner. These mothers often do an incredible job raising their sons, but they also recognize the unique value of male mentorship. A single mom who actively invites trustworthy men into her son’s life, through church youth groups, sports, or discipleship programs, is offering her child something deeply important. She’s saying, “I may not be able to model manhood for you, but I will help you find someone who can.”

When a father has been toxic or hurtful, the healing process requires even more intentionality. Boys who have been wounded by the men closest to them often struggle with trust, identity, and anger. In these cases, a safe and loving male mentor can be part of the restoration process. A mentor who listens, speaks kindly, and models integrity can begin to rewrite the internal story that the boy has carried about himself and about men in general.

Our churches and families must be intentional in this area. Older men should be encouraged to take interest in the younger generation, not just in casual conversation but in meaningful, consistent relationships. Titus 2 gives a model for intergenerational mentorship, calling mature believers to teach and train the younger ones. This is not just a cultural idea; it is a biblical calling.

Healthy male mentors are not perfect men, but they are present men. They show up, they speak truth, and they love without condition. Whether you are a father, an uncle, a grandfather, or a mentor in your church, your role matters deeply. And if you are a mother raising sons without that steady male presence, know that there are godly men who can come alongside you in this journey. Helping boys become godly men is not a task meant for one person alone, it is a shared responsibility, and it starts with the courage to reach out.

Floyd Godfrey PhD is a Board Certified Christian Counselor and has facilitated groups within different churches and denominations over the past 30 years. He worked as a licensed clinician for 23 years and provided supervision and training for other counselors as they worked toward independent licensure. You can read more about Floyd Godfrey PhD at www.FloydGodfrey.com.