Dr. Floyd Godfrey

Self-awareness is essential for spiritual growth and healthy relationships. It allows us to see ourselves clearly, recognize our shortcomings, and respond in a way that honors God. Recently, I had the opportunity to listen to Leslie Vernick at the 2024 Stand Strong Conference, where she spoke powerfully on this topic. Her insights reminded me that self-awareness is not something we achieve alone—it requires the help of others and a willingness to face uncomfortable truths.

Inviting Truth-Tellers Into Our Lives

One of the most profound points Vernick made was that “we all must invite truth-tellers into our life.” These are the people who love us enough to speak hard truths, even when it's difficult. We all have blind spots, areas of our life where we lack self-awareness. It’s often those closest to us—family members, friends, or mentors—who can see these areas clearly, even when we cannot. Without their honesty, we might continue down destructive paths, unaware of the damage we are doing to ourselves and others.

In the Bible, we see this principle play out in the life of King David. After his sin with Bathsheba, it was Nathan the prophet who confronted him, acting as a truth-teller. David's response was a model of healthy self-awareness: he reflected on his actions, confessed his sin, and repented. Vernick reminds us that, like David, we need others to help us see the truth about ourselves, even when it’s painful.

Facing the Reality of Our Actions

However, inviting truth-tellers into our lives is just the first step. We must also be willing to accept the reality of our actions and their consequences. As Vernick put it, “Sometimes we lack self-awareness, and sometimes we are self-deceived.” There are times when we don’t see our faults because we’re too close to the situation. But there are also times when we choose not to see the truth—we deceive ourselves because it's easier than facing the consequences of our actions.

King David provides a powerful example of this. After being confronted by Nathan, he didn’t try to minimize his sin or shift the blame. Instead, “David accepted the reality of the consequences that would follow him the rest of his reign,” Vernick points out. His awareness of his actions didn’t erase the consequences, but it allowed him to live in a way that acknowledged his need for God’s grace and mercy. This level of humility and acceptance is essential for anyone seeking to grow in self-awareness.

The Path of Healthy Repentance

Once we become aware of our sins, we have a choice: we can either respond with humility, or we can deflect, deny, and manipulate. Vernick highlights this crucial distinction: “Healthy sinners reflect, confess, and repent. Unhealthy sinners lie, gaslight, manipulate, and make excuses.” True self-awareness doesn’t stop at recognition; it leads to repentance. It’s not enough to realize our faults—we must also confess them to God and those we’ve hurt, and we must commit to making things right.

In today’s culture, it’s easy to fall into the trap of making excuses or blaming others for our behavior. But this only deepens our self-deception and alienates us from God and those around us. A healthy sinner—one who is self-aware—chooses the harder path of confession and repentance. This is what leads to healing and restoration, both in our relationship with God and in our relationships with others.

Walking in the Light of Truth

Self-awareness is not about self-condemnation; it's about walking in the light of truth. When we invite others to speak into our lives and we humbly accept the realities of our actions, we are better equipped to reflect God's love and grace to those around us. As Vernick wisely teaches, self-awareness requires both reflection and action. It’s a continuous process of learning, confessing, and changing by the power of the Holy Spirit.

In conclusion, self-awareness is essential for our spiritual journey. As Leslie Vernick pointed out, we need truth-tellers to help us see clearly, and we must be willing to face the reality of our actions. When we respond to our shortcomings with humility and repentance, we align ourselves with God’s will and experience His grace. May we all seek to grow in self-awareness and invite truth into every corner of our lives.

Floyd Godfrey, PhD is a Board Certified Christian Counselor and has facilitated groups within different churches and denominations over the past 30 years. He worked as a licensed counselor for 23 years and provided supervision and training for other counselors as they worked toward independent licensure. You can read more about Floyd Godfrey, PhD at www.FloydGodfrey.com.

Reference

Vernick, L. (2024, October). The Importance of Truth Tellers in Our Lives. Stand Strong - Mega National Christian Counseling Conference 2024. Dallas; Texas.