Floyd Godfrey, PhDBy Floyd Godfrey, PhD
Managing emotional states is a crucial aspect of preparing for disclosures, particularly in the context of addiction recovery. The intricate process of sharing deeply personal and often painful truths can be significantly hindered by unmanaged emotions. In their seminal work, "Surviving Disclosure - A Partner’s Guide for Healing the Betrayal of Intimate Trust," Schneider and Corley (2012) emphasize the complexities surrounding emotional management, highlighting that "emotions that are most often mismanaged are anger, fear, shame, and power" (p. 148). This article explores the profound impact of these emotions on the disclosure process, especially in relation to addiction.
Educational Strategies
Understanding the interplay of emotions is essential for both individuals preparing for disclosure and the professionals supporting them. Among the emotions identified by Schneider and Corley (2012), shame stands out as particularly problematic. They assert that "the emotional state that encourages mismanaged anger the most is shame. Shame is guilt's big brother" (p. 148). This insight is pivotal; it reveals why many addicts exhibit anger instead of engaging in transparent communication. The depth of shame experienced can be so overwhelming that it triggers defensive mechanisms, with anger being a common response.
Educational strategies aimed at managing these emotions should focus on increasing emotional intelligence and awareness. Therapists and coaches can employ techniques such as mindfulness, cognitive-behavioral approaches, and emotion-focused therapy to help individuals recognize and regulate their emotional states. By addressing the underlying shame, individuals can learn to manage their anger more effectively, paving the way for more honest and open disclosures.
The Role of Therapeutic and Coaching Interventions
Therapeutic interventions play a critical role in managing emotions before disclosures. Techniques from well-established therapeutic frameworks can be particularly beneficial. For instance, the work of Patrick Carnes in addiction therapy underscores the importance of addressing core emotional issues, including shame. Integrating Carnes’ methodologies with those of other experts like Stefanie Carnes and Doug Weiss can provide a comprehensive approach to emotional management.
Coaching interventions, alongside therapy, can offer additional support by focusing on practical strategies and real-time emotional regulation. Coaches can assist clients in developing coping mechanisms that are essential for navigating the disclosure process. This dual approach of therapy and coaching ensures that individuals are not only addressing their deep-seated emotional issues but are also equipped with the tools to manage these emotions in their daily lives.
Conclusion
Managing emotional states is a foundational aspect of preparing for disclosures in addiction recovery. Mismanaged emotions, particularly shame and its resultant anger, can severely hinder the process of open and honest communication. By employing educational strategies that enhance emotional intelligence and integrating therapeutic and coaching interventions, individuals can learn to manage their emotions effectively. This holistic approach not only facilitates better disclosures but also supports long-term recovery and emotional well-being.
Floyd Godfrey, PhD is a Clinical Sexologist and a Certified Sex Addiction Specialist. He has been guiding clients since 2000 and currently speaks and provides consulting and mental health coaching across the globe. To learn more about Floyd Godfrey, PhD please visit his website: www.FloydGodfrey.com.
References
Schneider, J., & Corley, D. (2012). Surviving Disclosure - A Partner’s Guide for Healing the Betrayal of Intimate Trust. CreateSpace.
