By Floyd Godfrey, PhD

Sexual addiction, like many behavioral addictions, requires a structured approach to recovery. Dr. Patrick Carnes, a pioneering researcher in the field, outlines a comprehensive recovery model that begins with three fundamental tasks: breaking the denial, understanding the nature of the addiction, and surrendering to the process. These tasks are integral to any successful recovery program.

Break the Denial

The first task in Dr. Carnes’ recovery model is to break the denial. Denial is a common defense mechanism where individuals refuse to acknowledge the reality of their addiction. It manifests in various forms, such as minimizing the problem, rationalizing behaviors, or outright refusal to recognize the addiction's existence. Breaking through this denial is crucial because it is only when individuals admit they have a problem that they can begin the journey to recovery.

In quality programming, breaking the denial is approached through intensive therapeutic sessions, psychoeducation, coaching and peer support groups. Therapists work with clients to identify patterns of denial and confront them with the consequences of their addiction. Education about the nature of sexual addiction helps individuals see their behaviors more clearly, while peer support offers a mirror through which they can see their own denial reflected in others. By dismantling the walls of denial, clients can start to take ownership of their recovery process.

Understand the Nature of the Addiction

Once denial is broken, the next task is to understand the nature of the addiction. This involves exploring the psychological, emotional, and neurological aspects of sexual addiction. Dr. Carnes emphasizes the importance of recognizing how addiction hijacks the brain's reward system, creating compulsive behaviors that are difficult to control.

Good programs will incorporate a variety of educational tools to help clients understand their addiction. These include classes, reading materials, and multimedia resources that explain the science behind addiction. Therapists also use cognitive-behavioral techniques to help clients identify triggers and understand the cycle of addiction. By gaining a comprehensive understanding of their addiction, individuals can begin to develop strategies to manage their behaviors and prevent relapse.

Surrender to the Process

The third task, surrendering to the process, is about accepting that recovery is a long-term journey requiring commitment and humility. It involves recognizing that overcoming addiction is not something that can be achieved through willpower alone but requires a structured and sustained effort, often with the support of a higher power or the recovery community.

Surrendering to the process is facilitated through structured programming that emphasizes the importance of ongoing support and community involvement. Clients are encouraged to participate in 12-step programs, engage in regular therapy sessions, and build a support network of peers who understand their struggles. This task also involves developing a daily routine that includes practices like mindfulness, meditation, and self-care to maintain sobriety and promote overall well-being.

Conclusion

The first three recovery tasks outlined by Dr. Patrick Carnes—breaking the denial, understanding the nature of the addiction, and surrendering to the process—are foundational steps in the journey toward recovery from sexual addiction. Good programs will incorporate these tasks into the therapeutic approach, providing clients with the tools, support, and education needed to overcome their addiction. By addressing denial, gaining insight into their addiction, and committing to the recovery process, individuals can find hope and healing on their path to recovery.

Floyd Godfrey, PhD is a Clinical Sexologist and a Certified Sex Addiction Specialist Supervisor. He has been guiding clients since 2000 and currently speaks and provides consulting and mental health coaching across the globe. To learn more about Floyd Godfrey, PhD please visit his website: www.FloydGodfrey.com.