By Floyd Godfrey, PhD

Talking to your sons about sexuality and pornography addiction can feel daunting for many parents. Unfortunately, many adolescents stumble into the world of pornography without a healthy understanding of sexuality. Often, parents leave these crucial conversations to schools, media, or institutions that may impose values inconsistent with Biblical principles. As someone with 30 years of experience mentoring and working with adolescent boys, I cannot overstate the importance of parents stepping in as the primary educators in these matters.

Parental Guidance: A Biblical Responsibility
Many parents hesitate to talk about sex for fear of “robbing their child’s innocence.” Eric Poulin (2019) explains this perfectly: “I used to think that by giving my sons the facts about sex, I would rob them of their innocence. The reality is that too many children learn about sex from everyone but their parents” (p. 4). A lack of guidance doesn’t protect innocence—it invites confusion and unhealthy influences. Without intentional teaching, teens addicted to pornography often rely on distorted images as their introduction to sexuality.

In a world where pornography is readily available, children may first encounter sex in its most jarring and exploitative forms. Poulin (2019) underscores this concern: “Often, seeing pornography is what provides a child’s first jarring glimpse of sex and robs them of their innocence” (p. 4).

As a parent, you have a unique role. You can teach your sons about sexuality in a way that aligns with Biblical truths while fostering respect, responsibility, and self-control. When you take the initiative, your message comes from a place of love and understanding rather than from a cold, impersonal organization.

Addressing Pornography Addiction Early
Teens addicted to pornography frequently struggle with shame and secrecy, which can further entrench the addiction. Early and open communication helps prevent this cycle. As Poulin (2019) states, “What robs children of their innocence is a lack of knowledge” (p. 4). Parents who educate their sons about healthy sexuality empower them to make informed, faith-driven decisions.

When discussing pornography, it’s important to explain why it is harmful—not just morally, but psychologically and relationally. Research highlights how pornography rewires the brain, diminishes empathy, and sets unrealistic expectations for relationships. As parents, your compassion and wisdom can help sons understand that pornography is not harmless entertainment but a counterfeit version of God’s design for intimacy.

Practical Steps for Effective Conversations

1. Start Early and Be Age-Appropriate: Conversations about bodies, boundaries, and respect can begin when children are young. As they grow, you can add layers of detail and wisdom.
2. Be Honest and Transparent: Share struggles in age-appropriate ways and emphasize God’s grace. Boys need to know it’s okay to ask questions without fear of judgment.
3. Teach Responsibility and Accountability: Explain that sexuality is a gift to be stewarded wisely. Offer tools like internet filters, accountability software, and trusted mentors to support them.
4. Speak Regularly, Not Just Once: Avoid the “one-and-done” talk. Creating an ongoing dialogue builds trust and makes it easier to address struggles, including teens addicted to pornography.

Fostering Trust and Hope
When parents step into these conversations with love, they establish themselves as safe sources of information. Sons will know they can come to you—not the internet—when questions or temptations arise. This proactive involvement not only shields their innocence but also equips them to navigate a world filled with sexualized messages.

Parenting in today’s culture requires courage. By teaching your sons about sexuality and pornography addiction from a Biblical perspective, you prepare them to live with integrity, faith, and self-control. Your guidance will leave a lasting impact far greater than any institution or cold organization ever could.

Floyd Godfrey, PhD is a Clinical Sexologist and a Certified Sex Addiction Specialist. He has been guiding clients since 2000 and currently speaks and provides consulting and mental health coaching across the globe. To learn more about Floyd Godfrey, PhD please visit his website: www.FloydGodfrey.com

Reference
Poulin, E. (2019). Just keep it in your pants? - How wise dads talk to their sons about sex, love and pornography.