Dr. Floyd Godfrey

Why This Conversation Matters

In our increasingly digital world, children are going to encounter explicit content, often by accident, long before they’re emotionally or spiritually ready to understand it. Some of the teens in my office have bravely expressed, "I wish my parents had talked more about porn when I was little." The need for open, honest discussions about pornography is becoming urgent. By equipping our kids to recognize and respond to pornography, we empower them to make choices that honor God, protect their minds, and preserve their sense of self-worth.

The Importance of Early Conversations

Many parents hesitate to talk about pornography, unsure of what to say or worried that raising the topic might lead to curiosity. Yet as Matt Fradd reflects in Delivered - True Stories of Men and Women Who Turned From Porn to Purity (2013), silence can leave children vulnerable to confusion and shame. Fradd shares, “No one ever told me there might be something wrong with pornography. Not my parents, not my priest, not my teachers—no one. And yet, every time I looked at it, I felt ashamed" (p. 18). His words resonate deeply, reminding us that children are likely to encounter explicit material, and without guidance, they may internalize harmful messages that create lasting wounds.

Today’s children need a foundation to make sense of what they might encounter and the strength to reject it. They need a Christ-centered understanding that their worth comes from God and not from the fleeting, distorted images society presents.

Creating a Safe Space for Discussion

One of the most powerful things we can do as parents is to create an atmosphere where our children feel safe to bring up difficult topics. Encourage open conversations by explaining that if they see something online that confuses or disturbs them, they should come to you. Emphasize that they won’t be in trouble or judged; you’re simply there to guide and protect them. These discussions should be age-appropriate, offering truth in a way that matches their level of understanding.

Matt Fradd describes the discomfort that pornography can create even in young minds. He shares from his own personal story that, “There seemed to be something not quite right, not quite masculine, about my growing paper harem” (p. 18). Fradd’s reflection highlights that kids can instinctively sense something amiss with pornography but may lack the vocabulary to articulate their feelings. By starting these conversations early, we give them the words and confidence to recognize when something feels wrong.

How Pornography Harms God’s Design for Relationships

One essential truth to impart is that God designed relationships to be about love, respect, and commitment. Pornography distorts this design, reducing people to objects. As Fradd poignantly explains, "Porn emasculates men by robbing them of their God-given masculinity and leaving them as mere consumers rather than providers; it degrades women by reducing the mystery and beauty of femininity to a collection of body parts…making them things to be used rather than persons to be loved; and it destroys marriages by competing with them, making a mockery of true marital intimacy" (p. 18).

Teaching our children about God’s vision for relationships reinforces that each person is valuable and worthy of respect. It’s a lesson that shapes their self-worth and influences how they treat others. We can share passages like Philippians 4:8: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” This verse reinforces that we are to guard our minds and hearts against things that corrupt and harm us.

Empowering Kids with Knowledge and Faith

As we prepare our kids to encounter the reality of pornography, we’re not merely protecting them from something harmful; we’re helping them live out God’s purpose. We’re empowering them to recognize their dignity as children of God and to understand that real love reflects God’s own sacrificial love for us.

Let’s give our children the tools they need to navigate a complex world with integrity. By speaking openly about pornography and God’s design for love and relationships, we are equipping them to make wise, God-honoring choices. And perhaps most importantly, we’re reminding them they’re never alone—they have both their family and their faith to guide them.

Dr. Floyd Godfrey is a Board Certified Christian Counselor and has facilitated groups within different churches and denominations over the past 30 years. He worked as a licensed counselor for 23 years and provided supervision and training for other counselors as they worked toward independent licensure. You can read more about Floyd Godfrey, PhD at www.FloydGodfrey.com.