By Floyd Godfrey, PhD

In today’s culture, conversations about sexuality often feel confusing, rushed, or disconnected from deeper meaning. For Christian parents and pastors, the calling is not simply to react to cultural messages, but to proactively guide children toward a healthy, God-centered understanding of sexual intimacy. This begins with embracing the concept of sexual wholeness, a vision that is both holistic and deeply rooted in God’s design.

Sexual wholeness goes far beyond physical behavior. It involves the integration of emotional, relational, and spiritual dimensions of life. As Fort explains, “Sexual wholeness includes relational health, spiritual depth, and emotional resilience. Emotional maturity, as we will see, plays an enormous role in sexual wholeness” (Fort, 2019, p. 15). This perspective invites parents to move past surface-level discussions and instead nurture the whole person. Teaching children about sexual intimacy, then, is not a single conversation but an ongoing process of discipleship that shapes character, identity, and relationships.

A key challenge for many families is uncertainty about what to teach. Fort notes, “Many parents do not really know what God’s design for sex is. Many pastors do not know what God’s design for sex is either. God’s design for sex is not typically on the curriculum in theological training” (Fort, 2019, p. 17). This gap highlights the importance of intentional learning and reflection among adults. Parents and church leaders must seek a clear biblical understanding of sexuality so they can confidently and accurately guide the next generation.

Scripture affirms that sexuality is neither accidental nor shameful. “We cannot escape the reality that God created sex on purpose” (Fort, 2019, p. 17). From Genesis onward, the Bible presents human intimacy as part of God’s good creation, designed to reflect unity, covenant, and love within marriage. When parents communicate this truth, they help children see sexuality not as something to hide or misuse, but as a meaningful gift entrusted by God.

This perspective also reshapes how parents talk about the topic. Fort reminds us, “Sex is God’s idea... He intended for sex to be exactly what it is. We do not need to be embarrassed to talk about what God was not embarrassed to create” (Fort, 2019, p. 18). Conversations marked by openness, honesty, and age-appropriate clarity foster trust between parents and children. When parents approach the subject without fear or shame, children are more likely to ask questions and internalize healthy values.

Another important aspect of teaching sexual intimacy is helping children understand the emotional and relational impact of sexual activity. Modern science aligns with biblical wisdom in this area. Fort explains, “In humans, sexual intercourse causes the hormone oxytocin to be released, causing an emotional bond to form between the two people engaging in sex... Each time they have sex this bond is strengthened” (Fort, 2019, p. 18). This biological reality reinforces the biblical teaching that sex is designed to create deep, lasting connection. “God created this process. Therefore, we can comfortably conclude that God intends for sex to be something that bonds a husband and wife emotionally” (Fort, 2019, p. 18).

For children and adolescents, understanding this bonding effect can provide a powerful framework for making wise decisions. It shifts the conversation from rules alone to purpose and meaning. Rather than simply saying what not to do, parents can emphasize what sex is for, a covenantal expression of love that unites a husband and wife emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

At the same time, parents must model humility and authenticity. Fort writes, “We have to hold up something for our children to aim for. I do not mean that we are to hold ourselves up as perfect examples for them to emulate. I am talking about teaching our children God’s design and purpose for sex” (Fort, 2019, p. 17). Children benefit from seeing adults who are learning, growing, and seeking to align their lives with God’s truth. This creates a home environment where grace and truth coexist.

Ultimately, teaching children about sexual intimacy is an opportunity to point them toward God’s heart. It is about helping them understand that their bodies matter, their relationships matter, and their choices carry spiritual significance. By grounding these conversations in biblical truth, supported by thoughtful insights such as those offered by Fort, parents can equip their children to pursue sexual wholeness with wisdom and confidence.

Floyd Godfrey PhD is a Board Certified Christian Counselor and has facilitated groups within different churches and denominations over the past 30 years. He worked as a licensed clinician for 23 years and provided supervision and training for other counselors as they worked toward independent licensure. You can read more about Floyd Godfrey PhD at www.FloydGodfrey.com.

Reference
Fort, J. W. (2019). Honest talk: A new perspective on talking to your kids about sex. ADMIT HUB REF SERVICE PR.