By Floyd Godfrey, PhD
What Is Sextortion?
Sextortion is a disturbing and increasingly common form of online exploitation. It occurs when someone tricks, pressures, or coerces another person—often a teenager—into sending sexually explicit images or videos. Once the material is received, the perpetrator threatens to release it unless the victim continues to provide more images or pays a ransom. Teens are particularly vulnerable due to their digital fluency and developmental tendency toward risk-taking.
Predators often pose as peers online, using fake social media profiles to gain trust. They may initiate flirtatious conversations, share seemingly innocent photos, and then request images in return. Once they obtain compromising material, the tone shifts drastically—threats replace compliments, and the teen is trapped in a cycle of fear and shame.
How Teens Get Tricked
Many teens don't initially recognize that they're being targeted. Grooming often starts with small requests and emotional manipulation. Offenders use language that appeals to a teen’s desire for validation and connection, especially if the teen is experiencing loneliness or insecurity. As a result, victims may feel complicit in what happened and struggle to come forward out of guilt.
Parents and youth pastors must understand that these manipulative tactics are premeditated. Perpetrators rely on the victim’s silence. The longer the teen feels isolated, the more control the offender maintains.
Parenting with Strength and Compassion
If a teen comes forward about being a victim of sextortion, their emotional response will likely include humiliation, shame, anxiety, fear, and confusion. They may feel like their world has collapsed. Parents must remain calm and supportive—what I call “holding a poker face.” Your composure becomes a lifeline. Avoid reacting with anger or interrogation. Instead, focus on being a steady, compassionate presence.
Tell your child directly, “I’m here for you no matter what happens. We will face this together.” This reassurance can dissolve some of the fear and begin the healing process. Your child needs to know that they are not alone and that they still have your full support.
Creating a Safe Emotional Environment
Part of your role as a parent or youth pastor is to be a pillar—stable and unwavering. Teens navigating the trauma of sextortion need more than just emotional comfort; they need strategic support. Help them understand this is not their fault and that recovery is possible. Work with a licensed therapist or a recovery coach who understands the psychological dynamics of online exploitation.
You can also engage therapeutic tools such as narrative therapy, which allows teens to externalize their experience, helping them reframe their story and release internalized shame.
Steps Toward Healing
Begin by reporting the incident to local law enforcement and the appropriate online platforms. Document everything. Then, prioritize emotional recovery. Encourage open communication and provide consistent support as your teen rebuilds trust in themselves and others. Sextortion doesn’t have to define your child’s future. With compassion, education, and professional help, healing is within reach.
Floyd Godfrey, PhD is a Clinical Sexologist and a Certified Sex Addiction Specialist. He has been guiding clients since 2000 and currently speaks and provides consulting and mental health coaching across the globe. To learn more about Floyd Godfrey, PhD please visit his website: www.FloydGodfrey.com.
