By Floyd Godfrey, PhD

In my 23 years of clinical experience working with men struggling with sexual addiction, I have seen how deeply this issue affects not only their behavior but also their emotional well-being. Sexual addiction is not just about compulsive sexual behaviors—it is rooted in an inability to regulate emotions, known as affect dysregulation. This perspective offers both a clearer understanding of the addiction and a path toward healing. By addressing the underlying emotional dysregulation, individuals can begin to reclaim control over their lives and their relationships.

Sex addiction as affect dysregulation is essentially a neurobiological disorder that involves the brain’s inability to properly manage emotional stress. When people experience trauma or emotional pain, they often turn to addictive behaviors as a way to self-soothe. In the case of sexual addiction, compulsive sexual behaviors activate the brain’s seeking and reward systems, offering a temporary escape from emotional distress. As Alexandra Katehakis (2016) notes, "When they recognize their past trauma and grasp how the brain's seeking and reward systems work, SA patients are relieved to know they are neither insane nor evil, but are struggling with a neurobiological disorder that has crippled their ability to connect to others and to their very selves" (p. 103). This insight helps patients understand that their addiction is not a reflection of moral failure but rather a response to deep-seated emotional wounds.

Over the years, I’ve found that many of my clients come to therapy with immense shame and self-hatred, believing they are inherently flawed or perverted. However, understanding sexual addiction through the lens of affect dysregulation allows them to see that their compulsive behaviors are a way of managing overwhelming emotions. It is this emotional dysregulation, often stemming from unresolved trauma or attachment wounds, that drives the addiction. By focusing on healing these emotional wounds, we can begin to address the root cause of the addiction, not just its symptoms.

One of the most effective ways to heal from sexual addiction is through group therapy. Sexual addiction thrives in secrecy, and shame is one of the most powerful forces keeping individuals trapped in their addictive behaviors. Group therapy, however, provides a powerful antidote to this shame. As Katehakis (2016) explains, "Nothing reduces shame—the faulty sense of self—like hearing a peer share about an activity the patient experienced in solitude and secrecy" (p. 225). In a group setting, individuals realize they are not alone in their struggles, and hearing others share their experiences helps reduce the isolation and shame that fuel the addiction.

Moreover, group therapy leverages the brain’s need for social connection to facilitate healing. "Addicts of all stripes get better faster in group therapy because the brain is a social organ requiring community to grow, heal, and change biologically and psychologically" (Katehakis, 2016, p. 225). In my practice, I’ve seen firsthand how transformative group therapy can be. Clients who participate in group therapy often experience faster progress, not only in managing their addictive behaviors but also in rebuilding emotional regulation and fostering deeper, healthier relationships.

The key to recovering from sexual addiction lies in addressing the emotional dysregulation that underlies it. This process requires both individual and group therapy to help individuals not only understand their neurobiological disorder but also begin to heal the emotional wounds that drive their addiction. By doing this, they can regain control over their lives and restore meaningful connections with others and themselves.

Floyd Godfrey, PhD is a Clinical Sexologist and a Certified Sex Addiction Specialist. He has been guiding clients since 2000 and currently speaks and provides consulting and mental health coaching across the globe. To learn more about Floyd Godfrey, PhD please visit his website: www.FloydGodfrey.com.

References

Katehakis, A. (2016). Sex addiction as affect dysregulation: A neurobiologically informed holistic treatment. W W NORTON.