Dr. Floyd Godfrey

The Role of Self-Awareness in Recovery

Self-awareness is a vital step in healing from pornography addiction. Patrick Carnes writes, “Typical addicts do not know much about themselves. In part, this is because of their beliefs around their own unworthiness” (Carnes, 2015, p. 171). For many, this deep-seated feeling of defectiveness leads to a life filled with avoidance and busyness. Carnes continues, “They feel so defective, they are uncomfortable being in their own presence. So they distract themselves with compulsive busyness, filling their lives with so much activity that there is no real interior life” (p. 171).

This avoidance extends to emotional and spiritual reflection. “Some addicts would either avoid or procrastinate on anything that would have meant delving into their feelings, motivations, and patterns,” Carnes observes (p. 171). True healing requires stepping into this discomfort, examining the internal turmoil that addiction seeks to escape (Carnes, 2015).

Embracing Jesus’ Love to See Ourselves Clearly

A key to overcoming addiction lies in embracing Jesus’ profound love for us. Scripture reminds us, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1, NIV). Recognizing that Jesus values us deeply—even in our brokenness—can help dismantle feelings of unworthiness.

Many addicts fear being alone, as Carnes points out: “A fear of being alone was a significant factor in their behavior” (p. 171). Yet in solitude with God, we are not truly alone. This is where grace meets our self-awareness. As we sit with Christ’s love, we begin to value ourselves as He does, breaking the cycle of shame and avoidance.

The Power of Grace in Self-Realization

Self-realization is not easy; Carnes asserts, “Sobriety comes only with painful self-realization” (p. 171). But this pain is redemptive when viewed through the lens of grace. Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross affirms our worthiness and offers a pathway out of addiction’s shadow. When we internalize His grace, we are empowered to face our internal struggles without fear.

Understanding grace also helps us to stop self-medicating with addictive behaviors and instead embrace the truth: we are forgiven, loved, and restored in Christ. This transformation mirrors the promise in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (NIV).

Moving Toward Healing

Breaking free from pornography addiction involves more than willpower; it requires a deep spiritual and emotional awakening. Carnes eloquently states, “Addiction is fundamentally a means to escape the internal turmoil” (p. 171). Through self-awareness, supported by prayer, Scripture, and Christian community, individuals can confront this turmoil and allow Christ to transform their pain into purpose.

Pastors, counselors, and church leaders can guide those struggling by pointing them to the truth of God’s love. When someone understands their value in Christ, they can courageously step into the healing process.

Floyd Godfrey PhD is a Board Certified Christian Counselor and has facilitated groups within different churches and denominations over the past 30 years. He worked as a licensed clinician for 23 years and provided supervision and training for other counselors as they worked toward independent licensure. You can read more about Floyd Godfrey PhD at www.FloydGodfrey.com.

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References
Carnes, P. (2015). Facing the Shadow: Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery (3rd ed.). Gentle Path Press.