By Dr. Floyd Godfrey

Initial Emotional Response
When a child discloses sexual abuse, it is natural for caregivers to experience a range of emotions, including shock, anger, fear, and sadness. These feelings can be overwhelming, and if not managed carefully, they may influence how the child perceives the situation. Some caregivers may even experience a trauma response, particularly if they have their own history of abuse. It is essential to acknowledge these emotions but not allow them to dictate the response to the child (CUSD, 2021).

The Importance of a Measured Response
Rather than reacting with immediate fear or anger, caregivers should focus on creating a safe and supportive environment. Experts recommend beginning with three key messages:

1. "I love you." Reassure the child that they are supported unconditionally.
2. "This was not your fault." Children often internalize abuse and may believe they did something to cause it.
3. "I want to keep you safe." Communicate that their well-being is a priority and that steps will be taken to protect them (CUSD, 2021).

Taking a moment to pause before responding allows caregivers to manage their own emotions, ensuring that their reaction does not further distress the child.

Encouraging Open Communication
A child’s ability to disclose abuse depends significantly on how safe they feel in their environment. Using open-ended questions such as “Tell me more” or “How are you feeling?” encourages the child to share their experience without fear of judgment. Avoiding yes-or-no questions or leading statements ensures that the child is not unintentionally influenced in their responses (CUSD, 2021).

Caregivers should also be mindful of their body language and tone, as children are highly perceptive to emotional cues. Remaining calm and composed reassures them that they are being heard and believed.

Seeking Professional Support
Addressing the effects of sexual abuse requires professional guidance. Reporting the abuse to the proper authorities, such as law enforcement or child protective services, is a critical step in ensuring the child’s safety. Additionally, connecting with a mental health professional who specializes in trauma can help both the child and caregiver navigate the healing process. Support groups and community resources can also provide guidance and reassurance during this difficult time (CUSD, 2021).

Building Long-Term Trust
Preventing long-term emotional distress in children who have experienced abuse involves ongoing communication and emotional connection. Caregivers should prioritize building trust through everyday interactions, engaging in non-judgmental conversations, and showing consistent support. Activities such as playing together, discussing their interests, and spending quality time can strengthen the child-caregiver relationship, making it easier for children to share their thoughts and feelings in the future (CUSD, 2021).

By responding with empathy, patience, and a commitment to safety, caregivers can help children begin their journey toward healing and resilience. Understanding how to navigate this challenging situation can empower caregivers to provide the necessary support, ensuring that no child feels alone in their recovery process.

Floyd Godfrey PhD is a Certified Mental Health Coach and has been guiding clients since 2000. He currently speaks and provides consulting and mental health coaching across the globe. To learn more about his services, please visit his website: www.FloydGodfrey.com.

Reference
Chandler Unified School District (CUSD). (2021). Responding to the discovery of sexual abuse [Audio podcast]. CUSD Cares Podcast.