By Floyd Godfrey, PhD

Men struggling with sexual addiction often face significant challenges in managing their emotions, which complicates the recovery process. As Corley and Schneider (2012) explain, “Addicted people have difficulty managing their feelings…” (p. 11). This difficulty underscores the importance of careful preparation for the full disclosure process. A well-structured and therapeutic disclosure session provides an opportunity for accountability, healing, and trust-building between the addict and their partner. Below, we explore key components of effective preparation for this critical step in recovery.

Complete and Review a Disclosure Workbook
Preparation begins with completing a disclosure workbook, which serves as a structured tool for detailing the addict’s sexual history. This process demands honest reflection on past behaviors, motivations, and patterns. Reviewing the workbook with a therapist is essential to confront feelings of shame, guilt, or denial. A skilled therapist helps the addict outline their history in a clear, factual manner, avoiding unnecessary details while ensuring all pertinent information is included. This step not only organizes the disclosure but also provides a foundation for emotional and psychological healing.

Create a Comprehensive Disclosure Statement
A disclosure statement, prepared with therapeutic guidance, is a cornerstone of effective preparation. This document allows the addict to take ownership of their actions and acknowledge the harm caused. The statement includes a narrative timeline of behaviors, framed without explicit details that could cause further trauma. By crafting this statement carefully, the addict demonstrates accountability and transparency, essential elements for rebuilding trust.

Develop an Accountability Statement
An accountability statement goes beyond recounting past actions. It reflects the addict’s commitment to recovery and outlines steps they have taken to address their behavior. This includes ongoing therapy, participation in recovery groups, and adherence to a relapse prevention plan. Sharing this statement reassures the partner that the addict is serious about change and actively working toward personal growth.

Establish a Self-Care and Accountability Plan
Self-care is crucial for sustaining recovery and managing emotional triggers during the disclosure process. The addict should prepare a comprehensive self-care plan that includes their support network, therapeutic goals, and strategies for relapse prevention. Sharing this plan during disclosure not only eases the partner’s anxiety but also demonstrates the addict’s dedication to maintaining sobriety and emotional stability.

Consider the Use of a Polygraph
In some cases, a polygraph test can provide additional assurance to the partner about the truthfulness of the disclosure. While not universally applicable, this tool can help validate the addict’s statements when managed carefully by a therapist. The focus should remain on fostering a safe and constructive environment, ensuring the partner feels supported without causing unnecessary distress.

The Importance of Thoughtful Preparation
Successful full disclosure is about more than sharing facts; it is an opportunity to demonstrate honesty, accountability, and a commitment to recovery. By working with a therapist and following a structured preparation process, addicts can approach this challenging step in a way that fosters healing for both themselves and their partners. As Corley and Schneider (2012) emphasize, addressing the difficulty in managing feelings is crucial to creating an environment of mutual understanding and growth.

Floyd Godfrey, PhD is a Clinical Sexologist and a Certified Sex Addiction Specialist. He has been guiding clients since 2000 and currently speaks and provides consulting and mental health coaching across the globe. To learn more about Floyd Godfrey, PhD please visit his website: www.FloydGodfrey.com.