By Floyd Godfrey, PhD

The Prevalence of Sexual Addiction and the Role of Preoccupation

Sexual addiction is a growing concern in the digital age, affecting individuals and relationships across all demographics. Professionals in the field, such as Robert Weiss and Patrick Carnes, have extensively studied the psychological mechanisms that drive compulsive sexual behaviors. One of the most critical aspects of sexual addiction is the preoccupation stage, during which individuals become mentally consumed with sexual thoughts and fantasies before engaging in any actual sexual behaviors. Weiss and Schneider (2015) describe this state as an emotional high, explaining that "even before sitting down to search for online porn or to seek out potential sex partners, sex addicts are 'high,' meaning the anticipation of the sexual experience leaves them both emotionally aroused and distracted" (p. 34).

The Psychological Impact of the Preoccupation Stage

Preoccupation with sexual activity creates an altered mental state that can dominate an individual’s thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Many sex addicts refer to this state as being in “the trance” or “the bubble,” where they feel detached from reality and consumed by their fantasies. According to Weiss and Schneider (2015), “Sex addicts in treatment often refer to this intense emotional state as being in ‘the trance’ or ‘the bubble.’ They can spend hours, sometimes even days, in this elevated condition, high on the goal or idea of sex without engaging in any actual sexual act” (p. 35). This phase can be deeply distressing, as it disrupts personal and professional responsibilities while reinforcing the addictive cycle.

Breaking the Cycle: Awareness and Intervention

Understanding the preoccupation stage is a vital step in breaking the cycle of sexual addiction. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness techniques can help individuals recognize when they are entering this stage and implement strategies to shift their focus. Experts like Patrick Carnes and Kevin Skinner emphasize the importance of awareness and structured interventions, such as journaling, behavioral tracking, and therapy, to help addicts regain control. Accountability through support groups and professional counseling can also play a crucial role in managing and reducing preoccupation-driven behaviors.

The Role of Therapeutic and Coaching Interventions

Therapeutic interventions and coaching strategies are essential in guiding individuals through recovery from sexual addiction. Clinicians often help clients identify emotional triggers, challenge cognitive distortions, and develop healthier coping mechanisms. For example, guided meditation and cognitive reframing techniques can be particularly effective in redirecting thoughts during the preoccupation phase. Additionally, structured recovery programs, such as the 12-step model and specialized sex addiction treatment plans, provide individuals with the tools necessary to break free from compulsive thought patterns and behaviors.

Recovery from sexual addiction is possible, and understanding the preoccupation stage is a crucial step toward healing. With the right therapeutic support and evidence-based interventions, individuals can regain control over their thoughts and behaviors, leading to healthier and more fulfilling lives.

Floyd Godfrey, PhD is a Clinical Sexologist and a Certified Sex Addiction Specialist. He has been guiding clients since 2000 and currently speaks and provides consulting and mental health coaching across the globe. To learn more about Floyd Godfrey, PhD please visit his website: www.FloydGodfrey.com.

References

Weiss, R., & Schneider, J. (2015). Always turned on: Sex addiction in the digital age. Gentle Path Press.