Dr. Floyd Godfrey

Sexual addiction is a pervasive issue that deeply impacts individuals and their relationships. It is characterized by a loss of control over sexual behaviors and an inability to adhere to personal and moral boundaries. As Carnes, Delmonico, and Griffin (2001) describe, “They have lost control over their sexual expression, which is exactly why they are defined as addicts” (p. 47). This loss of control highlights the critical need for addicts to recognize their powerlessness and seek support and accountability for recovery.

The Cycle of Addiction and Despair
Addicts often experience a repetitive, destructive cycle that perpetuates their struggles. Carnes et al. explain, “The despair that addicts experience after being compulsively sexual is the 'low' phase of the four-step cycle” (2001, p. 47). This cycle typically begins with a triggering event, escalates into compulsive behavior, and leads to intense feelings of shame and despair. When behaviors violate personal values or exploit others, the addict “experiences self-hatred as well” (Carnes et al., 2001, p. 47). Such despair traps individuals in a downward spiral, eroding their self-worth and faith.

Acknowledging Powerlessness
One of the most significant steps in overcoming sexual addiction is acknowledging powerlessness. Attempts to control compulsive behaviors through sheer willpower often fail, further reinforcing shame and self-condemnation. As Carnes et al. note, “The failure of their efforts to control their behavior is a sign of their addiction” (2001, p. 47). This realization is pivotal because it shifts the focus from self-reliance to seeking external help. By confessing their inability to manage their addiction alone, addicts open the door to genuine hope and healing: “For recovering addicts who have acknowledged powerlessness, there is hope” (Carnes et al., 2001, p. 47).

The Role of Accountability and Support
Effective recovery requires a community of support and accountability. James 5:16 encourages believers to “confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” A trusted community provides encouragement, guidance, and prayerful intervention, which are indispensable in overcoming the grip of addiction. Pastors, counselors, and recovery groups can offer a structured environment where addicts can address the roots of their struggles and learn healthier ways to cope.

Leaning on God for Lasting Change
Relying on God’s omniscience and strength is fundamental for meaningful recovery. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Trusting in God means surrendering control, acknowledging His wisdom, and seeking His guidance in rebuilding a life free from addiction. Through prayer, scripture, and the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit, individuals can find the strength to break free from bondage and embrace a new identity rooted in Christ.

Conclusion
Sexual addiction is a complex and challenging struggle, but it is not insurmountable. Recognizing powerlessness is not a sign of weakness but a necessary step toward recovery. When individuals place their trust in God and seek accountability within a supportive community, they can break free from the cycle of shame and despair. As Christians, we must extend compassion and understanding to those grappling with addiction, encouraging them to rely on God’s boundless grace and transformative power.

Floyd Godfrey, PhD is a Board Certified Christian Counselor and has facilitated groups within different churches and denominations over the past 30 years. He worked as a licensed clinician for 23 years and provided supervision and training for other counselors as they worked toward independent licensure. You can read more about Floyd Godfrey PhD at www.FloydGodfrey.com.

References
Carnes, P., Delmonico, D., & Griffin, E. (2001). In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior. Hazelden.