By Floyd Godfrey, PhD

The Hidden Struggle of Pornography Addiction

Pornography addiction is a struggle that affects countless men and boys, often beginning in adolescence and persisting into adulthood. For many, the habit starts innocently enough, but as time goes on, it can turn into a cycle of shame, secrecy, and despair. This journey is familiar to Matt Fradd, a prominent voice in the fight against pornography addiction. In his book Delivered: True Stories of Men and Women Who Turned from Porn to Purity, Fradd shares his personal experience, providing insight into the challenges of this addiction and the path to freedom. His story resonates deeply with men and boys facing the same battle, encouraging them to confront the problem with courage and determination.

Confronting the Shame and Embracing Courage

Fradd’s journey, like many others, was marked by an underlying sense of shame. Reflecting on his early experiences, he recalls: “No one ever told me there might be something wrong with pornography. And yet, every time I looked at it, I felt ashamed. There seemed to be something not quite right, not quite masculine, about my growing paper harem” (Fradd, 2013, p. 18). Even as a young boy, Fradd sensed the harm that pornography could inflict, though he didn’t fully understand it at the time. His experience highlights a common struggle—men and boys often feel a sense of discomfort and shame around pornography but are unsure of how to address it or even if it’s an issue worth addressing.

Confronting the shame of pornography addiction requires tremendous courage. For those who feel trapped in a cycle of addiction, it can be easy to withdraw, to convince themselves that they should be able to manage it alone. But it’s precisely this isolation that fuels the addiction. By having the courage to face the problem, men and boys can break free from this cycle. They can begin to seek help, moving beyond the fear of embarrassment to open the door to healing and support.

Pushing Past Embarrassment to Find Support

For many, acknowledging a pornography addiction can feel humiliating, yet breaking free from the addiction requires pushing through this discomfort. Fradd, looking back, describes his journey toward understanding his own shame: “It was not until many years later that I could see with clarity why I had felt shame, why it was so obvious to even my eight-year-old brain that there was something wrong with porn” (Fradd, 2013, p. 18). His words remind us that the shame surrounding pornography is real, yet facing it is crucial for recovery. It’s natural to feel embarrassment, but pushing through that feeling is necessary for true freedom.

Seeking support isn’t a sign of weakness; rather, it’s a testament to one’s strength and commitment to overcoming addiction. Men and boys struggling with pornography addiction may benefit from counseling, support groups, and accountability partners. In these settings, they’ll find others who have faced similar challenges and can offer encouragement and guidance. This community, far from shaming, provides a safe space where they can address their struggles and work toward genuine healing.

The Path to Freedom: A Difficult but Rewarding Journey

Overcoming pornography addiction is not easy. Fradd admits, “My own path to freedom has been difficult and in many ways is ongoing; but it has been infinitely rewarding” (Fradd, 2013, p. 18). His transparency is a reminder that recovery is a process, often involving setbacks and struggles. But the rewards of overcoming addiction are profound. Breaking free from pornography allows individuals to rebuild their sense of self-worth, improve their relationships, and live with a sense of purpose and integrity.

For those embarking on this journey, Fradd’s story is both a cautionary tale and an inspiration. His willingness to share his experiences provides hope that recovery is possible, and his words encourage others to pursue freedom with the same courage and determination. The path may be challenging, but the results—self-respect, authentic relationships, and personal integrity—are worth every effort.

Taking the First Step

If you’re struggling with pornography addiction, remember that you’re not alone. Countless others have walked this path and emerged stronger on the other side. By acknowledging the problem, seeking support, and embracing the journey of recovery, you too can find freedom. It begins with a decision to confront the shame, push past the embarrassment, and embrace the help that’s available. Take the first step today—it’s a step toward a life of greater clarity, peace, and self-respect.

Floyd Godfrey, PhD is a Clinical Sexologist and a Certified Sex Addiction Specialist. He has been guiding clients since 2000 and currently speaks and provides consulting and mental health coaching across the globe. To learn more about Floyd Godfrey, PhD please visit his website: www.FloydGodfrey.com

Reference

Fradd, M. (2013). Delivered: True Stories of Men and Women Who Turned From Porn to Purity. Catholic Answers Press.