By Dr. Floyd Godfrey

I have had the privilege of working with many Latter-day Saint (LDS) men who seek to live a life in harmony with gospel teachings. Many of these men struggle with sexual confusion or pornography addiction, often feeling trapped in a cycle of shame and discouragement. Their desire to change is real, yet despite their efforts, they frequently fall back into old habits. In their search for answers, many have turned to resources such as Willpower Is Not Enough: Why We Don’t Succeed at Change by Byrd and Chamberlain (1995), which offers powerful insights into why personal effort alone is insufficient for true transformation.

The Fallacy of "Doing What Comes Naturally"

The world frequently encourages people to "follow their hearts" and act on their desires, often portraying self-restraint as unnecessary or even harmful. However, Byrd and Chamberlain (1995) caution against this mentality, writing, "We know that 'doing what comes naturally' often creates heartache and pain as people abandon their inhibitions and behave irresponsibly" (p. 10). For LDS men struggling with sexual addiction or confusion, simply following urges without restraint does not bring lasting peace or fulfillment. Instead, it often leads to deeper regret, fractured relationships, and spiritual disconnection.

The scriptures also reinforce the importance of self-mastery. In 2 Timothy 1:7, Paul reminds us, "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." This "sound mind" refers to discipline and self-control, gifts that come from aligning ourselves with God’s will. Overcoming addictive behaviors requires a shift away from the world's message of indulgence toward a Christ-centered pursuit of purity.

True Change Requires Divine Help

One of the most profound lessons for those struggling with pornography addiction is the realization that lasting change is not achieved by sheer determination alone. Byrd and Chamberlain (1995) emphasize this truth, writing:

"In any effort to attain victory over self, we can do only a small part of what needs to be done. Consider David’s victory over Goliath. It was not the might of David’s arm that killed Goliath, nor was it some special quality of the six stones he chose. No, it was the power of the Lord. If we are to conquer our own Goliaths, then, we can’t rely on our measly resources or our own energy and effort. We must depend on God" (p. 11).

This principle aligns with the teachings of the Savior, who declared, "I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing" (John 15:5). Overcoming pornography addiction is not simply a matter of willpower; it requires reliance on Jesus Christ. Through sincere prayer, scripture study, and the grace of the Atonement, men can find the strength to resist temptation and develop new patterns of thought and behavior.

Practical Steps Toward Healing

While divine assistance is crucial, practical strategies also play a key role in overcoming addiction. Many LDS men benefit from structured recovery programs, personal accountability, and support from church leaders or professional counselors. Some essential steps include:

• Daily Spiritual Renewal – Consistent prayer, scripture study, and temple attendance provide a source of strength and divine guidance.
• Accountability Partnerships – Sharing struggles with a trusted friend, mentor, or church leader helps break the cycle of isolation.
• Professional Counseling –Therapy can offer insights and coping strategies tailored to both spiritual and psychological needs.
• Avoiding Triggers – Identifying and steering clear of situations or media that lead to temptation is vital for long-term success.

The combination of personal effort and divine grace creates the foundation for real and lasting change. As men turn to the Savior and apply both spiritual and practical principles, they can experience not only behavioral transformation but also a renewal of their hearts and minds.

Hope and Healing in Christ

For those struggling with sexual confusion or pornography addiction, hope is not lost. The Savior's Atonement is powerful enough to cleanse, heal, and restore. As Byrd and Chamberlain (1995) have stated, victory over our personal Goliaths does not come through human effort alone—it requires divine intervention. By placing their trust in God, seeking spiritual and practical support, LDS men can find true freedom and peace.

Floyd Godfrey PhD is a Board Certified Christian Counselor and has facilitated groups within different churches and denominations over the past 30 years. He worked as a licensed clinician for 23 years and provided supervision and training for other counselors as they worked toward independent licensure. You can read more about Floyd Godfrey PhD at www.FloydGodfrey.com.

References

Byrd, A. D., & Chamberlain, M. D. (1995). Willpower is not enough: Why we don’t succeed at change. Deseret Book Co.