By Floyd Godfrey, PhD

For many young men, the topic of pornography is sensitive and difficult to talk about, especially with parents or trusted adults. Shame, embarrassment, and fear of judgment often prevent open conversations about this struggle, leaving young men feeling isolated. Yet, talking to a trusted adult is a key step toward finding help and overcoming pornography issues.

Shame and Embarrassment: Common Barriers

One of the biggest reasons young men avoid talking about pornography is the overwhelming feeling of shame. Shame can make someone feel like they are fundamentally flawed, causing them to hide their behavior instead of seeking help. Embarrassment can also compound this issue, as young men may worry about how their parents or other adults will perceive them after such a disclosure. These emotions can create a powerful internal barrier, convincing someone that silence is safer than the risk of being judged or misunderstood.

However, keeping the struggle hidden can often make things worse. Pornography addiction thrives in secrecy, and avoiding the topic can lead to feelings of isolation and hopelessness. It’s important for young men to understand that these feelings of shame are normal, but they don’t have to control the situation. By recognizing that they are not alone in their struggle, young men can begin to break free from the grip of shame and embarrassment.

Choosing the Right Time and Place

When deciding to talk to a parent or trusted adult, timing and setting are key factors. It's best to choose a calm, private moment when there are few distractions. Conversations like these are best handled in an environment where both parties can focus and take the time to listen. This helps create an atmosphere of trust and understanding, which can reduce feelings of anxiety.

It’s also helpful to prepare mentally for the conversation. Consider starting with, “I need to talk to you about something that’s been hard for me,” or “There’s something I’ve been struggling with, and I think I need help.” Opening the door in this way allows the adult to see that this is a serious conversation that requires empathy and understanding.

How Parents or Trusted Adults Can Help

Young men should also keep in mind that most parents or trusted adults truly want to help, even if they don’t always respond perfectly at first. For adults, hearing that their child is struggling with pornography might be unexpected or even distressing. But more often than not, parents want to offer support and guidance once they understand the situation.

Parents might not have all the answers, but they can assist in finding resources, such as a therapist or counselor, who specializes in dealing with pornography struggles. They can also provide emotional support, helping to build a healthy and open relationship that makes it easier to discuss difficult topics in the future.

Why Talking is a Step Toward Recovery

Addressing pornography use with a trusted adult is not about seeking punishment or creating guilt—it’s about seeking support. Talking openly about the issue can reduce feelings of shame and secrecy, which are often the very factors that drive addiction. By being honest, young men take the first step in breaking the cycle of addiction and begin their path toward recovery.

Parents and trusted adults can also help young men by connecting them with professional resources. Therapists and counselors who specialize in pornography addiction can offer strategies for managing and overcoming this issue. In many cases, the simple act of talking can shift the struggle from a shame-filled secret to a shared problem with potential solutions.

Final Thoughts

Although it may feel uncomfortable or scary to talk to parents or trusted adults about struggling with pornography, it is one of the most important steps toward recovery. Overcoming the barriers of shame and embarrassment is possible, and young men should remember that they are not alone in this journey. By opening up, they can find the support they need to heal and move forward.

Floyd Godfrey, PhD, is a Clinical Sexologist and a Certified Sex Addiction Specialist. He has been guiding clients since 2000 and currently speaks and provides consulting and mental health coaching across the globe. To learn more about Floyd Godfrey, PhD, please visit his website: www.FloydGodfrey.com