By Dr. Floyd Godfrey
Self-esteem is foundational to our emotional and mental well-being. It influences how we view ourselves, relate to others, and navigate life’s challenges. When self-esteem is compromised, individuals may experience heightened levels of anxiety, depression, or chronic self-doubt. Psychologist Dr. David Burns, a pioneer in cognitive behavioral therapy, has brought significant attention to the ways distorted thinking contributes to these struggles. In his foundational workbook Ten Days to Self-Esteem, Burns (1999) outlines key patterns of cognitive distortion that hinder self-confidence and promote emotional distress.
All-or-Nothing Thinking
One of the most damaging patterns identified by Burns is all-or-nothing thinking. This cognitive distortion causes individuals to evaluate themselves in extreme, black-and-white categories. As Burns (1999) explains, “All-or-nothing thinking: You look at things in absolute, black-and-white categories” (p. 50). For someone with low self-esteem, this may sound like, “If I’m not perfect, I’m a failure,” or “If I didn’t get the job, I’m worthless.” These rigid evaluations make it nearly impossible to recognize growth, effort, or partial success. Therapists often work with clients to reframe these extremes, helping them see the full spectrum of progress rather than a binary outcome.
Overgeneralizations and Emotional Defeat
Overgeneralization is another frequent contributor to poor self-image. According to Burns (1999), “Overgeneralization: You view a negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat” (p. 50). For example, a single mistake might lead someone to believe, “I always mess up,” or “Nothing ever works out for me.” These beliefs erode confidence and resilience, reinforcing a narrative of perpetual failure. Interventions that target overgeneralization often include journaling or structured self-reflection, where clients gather evidence to challenge their assumptions. Helping individuals identify exceptions to their negative beliefs is crucial for rebuilding healthy self-esteem.
The Danger of Mental Filters
The third distortion Burns describes is the mental filter, which focuses attention solely on negative aspects of an experience while filtering out the positive. “Mental filter: You dwell on the negatives and ignore the positives” (Burns, 1999, p. 50). This skewed perspective keeps individuals locked in cycles of shame, disappointment, and chronic dissatisfaction. Even when something goes well, the mind automatically downplays it in favor of a flaw or imperfection. Therapists can encourage clients to develop a more balanced perspective by practicing gratitude or creating lists of daily accomplishments—no matter how small.
Educational Strategies
Education about these thinking patterns is essential. When clients can name and identify distortions, they begin to see their thought processes with greater clarity. Psychoeducation groups, cognitive behavioral worksheets, and self-help books like Ten Days to Self-Esteem provide practical tools that reinforce this awareness. Counselors often find that once clients understand these distortions intellectually, they can begin the emotional work of dismantling them.
The Role of Therapeutic Intervention
Therapeutic support provides a safe space for individuals to examine how these distortions developed—often tracing back to childhood experiences or significant emotional wounds. Counselors, coaches, and therapists use techniques like cognitive restructuring, narrative therapy, and mindfulness to help clients challenge these patterns and develop healthier self-appraisals. Ongoing support reinforces the internal shift, helping individuals learn to validate their worth beyond performance or perfectionism.
Reclaiming self-esteem is a process, not an event. It involves identifying distorted thoughts, applying practical tools, and embracing the truth that worth is not dependent on external achievements. As individuals begin to see themselves more clearly—free from the filters of shame and cognitive distortion—they can build confidence rooted in compassion and resilience.
Floyd Godfrey PhD is a Certified Mental Health Coach and has been guiding clients since 2000. He currently speaks and provides consulting and mental health coaching across the globe. To learn more about his services please visit his website: www.FloydGodfrey.com.
References
Burns, D. D. (1999). Ten days to self-esteem. Quill.
