By Dr. Floyd Godfrey

In my years as a Christian counselor, I’ve seen the devastating effects that addiction can have on individuals and families. One of the most challenging aspects of addiction, especially sexual addiction like pornography, is the secrecy that often surrounds it. The shame of addiction drives individuals to hide, not just from others, but often from themselves. However, breaking this cycle of secrecy is a crucial step toward healing and freedom. Transparency is key to recovery, allowing individuals to experience both grace and accountability in their healing journey.

The Nature of Hiding and Secrecy
Addiction thrives in darkness. In the beginning stages, many people struggling with addiction manage to convince themselves that their behavior isn’t a real problem, that they can control it or that no one will ever know. But, as Gregory May points out, "At some point, it becomes impossible to continue avoiding the truth. The addicted person knows full well that she has a real problem" (May, 1988, p. 45). No matter how hard a person tries to deny or minimize their addiction, the truth eventually catches up. The internal battle begins, and as the addiction worsens, the effort to hide intensifies.

May continues, explaining that "since hiding the truth from oneself is no longer as effective, it becomes increasingly important to hide it from other people" (May, 1988, pp. 45-46). This leads to a double life—a life where the individual presents one version of themselves to the world, while secretly struggling with sin. This secrecy fosters isolation, shame, and fear, reinforcing the cycle of addiction. The person feels trapped, as though they are harboring a “dark secret, the revelation of which would be unbearable” (May, 1988, p. 46). The fear of being exposed often keeps individuals from seeking help, even when they desperately need it.

The Power of Confession and Transparency
The Bible gives us a powerful solution to the problem of secrecy and isolation in addiction: confession and transparency. We learn the following from James 5:16: "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." Confession is not just a religious ritual; it is a transformative act of bringing what is hidden into the light. In the context of addiction recovery, confession breaks the power of secrecy, allowing individuals to find support, accountability, and prayer from others in the body of Christ.

In my counseling work, I have witnessed the tremendous healing that comes when individuals are finally willing to be transparent about their struggles. For many, sharing their secret is the most difficult step, but also the most liberating. When they confess to a trusted pastor, counselor, or accountability partner, they are no longer carrying the burden alone. In this act of vulnerability, God’s grace meets them, and they begin to experience the freedom that comes from being known and loved, even in their brokenness.

Transparency in recovery also fosters accountability. No longer hiding their sin, individuals can begin to put safeguards in place and receive the guidance they need. Addiction isolates, but confession builds community. It invites others into the healing process and allows the church to become a place of grace and support for those struggling with sin.

Breaking the Cycle of Shame
Secrecy and shame are often intertwined, feeding off one another in a destructive cycle. The longer an individual hides their addiction, the more they believe that revealing it would lead to unbearable judgment and rejection. But the truth is that God’s grace is greater than any sin, and the church is called to be a place of healing and restoration.

When individuals take the courageous step of being transparent, they discover that they are not alone in their struggles. They experience the grace of God and the support of a community that wants to see them healed and whole. The darkness loses its power when the truth is brought into the light, and in that light, healing begins.

Floyd Godfrey, PhD is a Board Certified Christian Counselor and has facilitated groups within different churches and denominations over the past 30 years. He worked as a licensed counselor for 23 years and provided supervision and training for other counselors as they worked toward independent licensure. You can read more about Floyd Godfrey, PhD at www.FloydGodfrey.com.

References
May, G. G. (1988). Addiction & Grace - Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions. Harper One.