By Dr. Floyd Godfrey
In today’s culture, young men face a flood of conflicting messages about masculinity. They are often unsure whether being a man means being tough and emotionless, or sensitive and passive. Sadly, even within Christian communities, confusion can arise when biblical principles are replaced with cultural expectations. As parents, pastors, and mentors, we have a vital role in guiding young men toward a secure, godly understanding of what it truly means to be a man.
Understanding Biblical Masculinity
To help young men, we must first understand masculinity from a biblical perspective. True masculinity is rooted in strength of character, humility, love, and leadership under God’s authority. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 16:13-14, “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.” This passage captures the heart of biblical manhood. It is a call to courage and conviction, but also to love and compassion.
Young men need to know that their identity is not based on cultural trends or peer approval. Their value comes from being created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27) and redeemed through Christ. This foundation allows them to grow with confidence, knowing who they are and whose they are.
The Role of Fathers and Mentors
Masculinity is most powerfully learned through example. When boys observe mature, godly men living out their faith, they absorb far more than any lecture could provide. Unfortunately, many young men grow up without consistent male role models. This lack can leave them searching for identity in unhealthy places.
Mentorship is essential. Whether through a father, a youth pastor, a coach, or a small group leader, young men benefit greatly from older men who walk beside them with intentionality and grace. The Apostle Paul modeled this with Timothy. In 2 Timothy 1:2, Paul addresses him as “my beloved child,” reflecting a deep, nurturing relationship. Paul challenged Timothy to lead boldly and stay faithful, reinforcing that godly masculinity includes both strength and spiritual devotion.
Small gestures like taking a young man out for coffee, teaching him how to handle conflict, or inviting him to serve others, can leave a lasting impression and build a sense of identity that is rooted in Christ.
Teaching Emotional Strength
One of the harmful cultural myths about manhood is that men must always be emotionally detached. This mindset discourages young men from expressing fear, sadness, or vulnerability. Yet Scripture offers a fuller picture. King David, a man after God’s own heart, wrote psalms filled with raw emotion. Jesus Himself wept at Lazarus’s tomb (John 11:35) and was deeply moved in spirit. These examples show us that emotional expression is not weakness, but a reflection of honesty and connection.
Helping boys understand their emotions gives them permission to grow into emotionally healthy men. They learn that true strength includes the ability to process feelings, seek support, and respond to others with empathy. These are qualities that will bless their future marriages, friendships, and ministries.
Providing Opportunities for Growth
Boys develop confidence and maturity when given real opportunities to test their character and develop leadership. This happens through experiences: helping lead a youth group event, participating in a service trip, or tackling challenges at a Christian summer camp. When boys are placed in environments that require responsibility, teamwork, and faith, they begin to rise to the occasion.
Safe, supportive spaces also give them room to discuss tough topics such as temptation, identity struggles, or anxiety. When trusted adults create room for honest dialogue, young men realize they are not alone. This allows them to face personal challenges without shame or secrecy.
Speaking Identity and Blessing
Never underestimate the power of words. When parents and mentors speak blessing over a young man, they help shape his view of himself. Affirming a boy’s courage, discipline, or spiritual growth plants seeds that grow for years to come. At Jesus’s baptism, God declared, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased” (Matthew 3:17). Every young man needs to hear that kind of affirmation from the adults in his life.
These spoken blessings serve as anchor points, especially during times of doubt or hardship. Young men who receive these messages early on are more likely to pursue a godly path with assurance and purpose.
Helping young men develop a secure sense of masculinity is not a one-time event. It is a journey that requires time, grace, and consistency. Through strong relationships, biblical guidance, and loving encouragement, we can raise up a generation of young men who know what it means to be faithful, humble, and strong in Christ.
Floyd Godfrey PhD is a Board Certified Christian Counselor and has facilitated groups within different churches and denominations over the past 30 years. He worked as a licensed clinician for 23 years and provided supervision and training for other counselors as they worked toward independent licensure. You can read more about Floyd Godfrey PhD at www.FloydGodfrey.com.
