By Dr. Floyd Godfrey
Raising teenagers is no small task, especially when our deepest desire is to see them walk in faith and develop a personal relationship with God. As Christian parents and mentors, it's natural to want to "say the right things" to help guide them spiritually. But more than our words, it’s our behavior, our responses, and our lives that influence their hearts the most.
Your Life Speaks Louder Than Your Voice
Teenagers are exceptionally perceptive. They often detect inconsistencies between what adults say and how they actually live. Parents can talk about going to church, reading Scripture, or trusting God—but if teens observe a life filled with anxiety, bitterness, or hypocrisy, they begin to question whether faith is real or relevant.
Jesus spoke directly to this in Matthew 7:16, “By their fruit you will recognize them.” This isn't just about identifying others—it’s about reflecting on our own lives. Are we demonstrating peace in our home? Do we confess when we fall short? Do our children see us pursue Christ in our decisions, priorities, and relationships?
When a teen sees a parent or mentor authentically loving others, praying consistently, and showing grace under pressure, those moments leave a lasting impression. It shows them that faith isn’t just a Sunday ritual—it’s a daily walk that affects every part of life.
Use Struggles as Open Doors to the Gospel
It can be tempting to avoid hard topics or emotional struggles with teens, especially if we want to protect them. But struggles—whether theirs or ours—are the perfect moments to talk about grace, redemption, and the presence of God.
When your teen is facing disappointment, don’t rush to fix it with surface-level encouragement. Instead, sit with them in the pain, and gently introduce gospel truths. “I know this hurts, and it’s okay to feel that. But I also know that God sees you. He promises in Psalm 34:18 that He’s close to the brokenhearted. Let’s ask Him to walk with you through this.”
Struggles open their hearts to listen. These are the moments where gospel truths become more than abstract ideas—they become life-giving promises.
Be Honest About Your Own Journey
One of the greatest gifts you can offer your teenager is transparency. Teens often think adults have it all figured out—or worse, that we’re pretending to. When you talk openly about your own battles with doubt, stress, or failure—and how God met you there—it makes the gospel real and relatable.
For example, instead of hiding your past mistakes or downplaying your weaknesses, share them wisely: “There was a time when I was really confused about what God wanted for my life. I struggled to trust Him too. But here’s what I learned…”
This kind of honesty doesn't weaken your authority—it strengthens your relationship. It creates a safe space for your teen to come to you later with questions, doubts, or fears of their own. They’ll remember that you’re someone who understands, not just preaches.
Walking Beside Them
Helping a teen discover a relationship with God isn't about crafting the perfect devotional or forcing them to attend every youth group event. It’s about walking beside them, living authentically, and keeping your heart open to conversations that happen in the car, at the dinner table, or in the middle of a tearful moment.
Remember Deuteronomy 6:6–7: “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road…” In other words, faith conversations are meant to be woven into daily life—not reserved for formal moments.
Let your life be the invitation. Let your struggles be the bridge. And let the gospel be the anchor.
Floyd Godfrey PhD is a Board Certified Christian Counselor and has facilitated groups within different churches and denominations over the past 30 years. He worked as a licensed clinician for 23 years and provided supervision and training for other counselors as they worked toward independent licensure. You can read more about Floyd Godfrey PhD at www.FloydGodfrey.com.
