By Dr. Floyd Godfrey

Ministry is often described as a calling, a deep and sacred mission to shepherd the people of God. But for many pastors, the calling also becomes a burden, and one that slowly strains their health, relationships, and spiritual well-being. Over the past 25 years, I’ve had the privilege of working alongside countless church leaders across various denominations. I’ve seen their passion and commitment, but I’ve also watched them wrestle with exhaustion, loneliness, and family tension brought on by the constant demands of church leadership.

Wayne Cordeiro (2009), in his candid book Leading on Empty: Refilling Your Tank and Renewing Your Passion, speaks directly to this crisis. He admits, “Over the years of shepherding people, I found that giving myself permission to heal came hard,” and later adds, “... I have to find permission to heal,” (p. 31). These words capture the tension many pastors experience; the sense that pausing to rest feels like disobedience or weakness, even as their spirit quietly withers.

One of the more sobering sections of Cordeiro’s book references research by H.B. London Jr., showing the hidden toll of ministry life:

• 80% of pastors believe that pastoral ministry affects their families negatively.
• 80% say they have insufficient time with their spouse.
• 56% of pastors’ wives say they have no close friends.
• 52% of pastors say they and their spouses believe that being in ministry is hazardous to their family’s well-being and health.
• 70% of pastors do not have someone they consider a close friend (Cordeiro, 2009, pp. 32–33).

These statistics are not merely numbers; they are the lived experiences of many pastors I’ve counseled and served alongside. Ministry can become all-consuming, leaving little margin for rest, connection, or spiritual renewal.

Cordeiro (2009) notes that “zeal and good intentions can fuel us in the beginning, but they won't last in the long haul” (p. 31). The early passion of a pastor’s calling, while genuine and powerful, cannot sustain a lifetime of ministry without intentional rhythms of rest and restoration. We must heed his warning and look for ways to build rest and spiritual care into the very structure of our ministry life not as an afterthought, but as a foundation.

A key truth that often goes unspoken is that pastors are people too. They are fathers, mothers, husbands, wives, and friends. They carry the same human limitations as the people they shepherd. “To finish strong, you must learn to rejuvenate your spirit early in your ministry,” Cordeiro (2009) wisely advises (p. 33). This is not just advice for longevity; it is a call to honor the humanity God gave us, and to live out a ministry model that reflects Sabbath rest and emotional honesty.

If you are a pastor reading this and find yourself running on empty, take this as your invitation: you have permission to heal. You have permission to slow down. You have permission to talk with someone, to set boundaries, and to prioritize your family. The health of your ministry will never outpace the health of your soul.

And for church boards, elders, and staff members this is a call to support your pastor not only in public affirmation, but in private care. Offer time off, create safe spaces for open dialogue, and encourage your leaders to seek help without shame.

We cannot afford to overlook the internal struggles of those who lead us spiritually. A strong finish requires early and consistent care.

Floyd Godfrey PhD is a Board Certified Christian Counselor and has facilitated groups within different churches and denominations over the past 30 years. He worked as a licensed clinician for 23 years and provided supervision and training for other counselors as they worked toward independent licensure. You can read more about Floyd Godfrey PhD at www.FloydGodfrey.com.

References
Cordeiro, W. (2009). Leading on empty: Refilling your tank and renewing your passion. Bethany House Publishers.