By Dr. Floyd Godfrey

For many Christians, the idea of connecting with God as a Father can feel complicated or even painful. Earthly experiences often shape how individuals perceive God, and when a person has suffered a strained or broken relationship with their biological father, it may distort their understanding of God's nature. Still, Scripture consistently presents God as a loving and attentive Father, eager to have a relationship with His children. Developing that connection takes intentional prayer, reflection, and sometimes healing from past wounds.

Understanding God’s Desire for Relationship

The foundation of a relationship with God begins with the understanding that He deeply desires to be in relationship with us. Norton (2025) reminds us, “God desires to be in relationship with us, and He sent His Son to make it so” (p. 22). This truth echoes throughout the New Testament, where Jesus frequently speaks of His Father and teaches His followers to pray with the same intimacy, saying, “Our Father in heaven” (Matthew 6:9, ESV). God is not a distant force; He is present, personal, and invested in our lives. The sacrifice of Jesus was not merely for salvation, but also for restoration of relationship, bringing us back into closeness with the Father.

Healing the Wounds of Earthly Fatherhood

For many people, connecting with God as a Father is hindered by the emotional and psychological impact of their relationship with their earthly father. Norton (2025) notes, “For too many of us, our fathers were distant, unavailable, preoccupied, abusive, harsh, cruel or cold” (p. 23). These painful realities can create a barrier between the believer and a healthy concept of God's fatherly love. It’s important to acknowledge these experiences and to bring them before God in prayer. Healing often requires both spiritual and emotional work, sometimes involving counseling or mentorship in a trusted Christian context.

Scripture provides multiple affirmations that God is not like our earthly fathers. Psalm 103:13 says, “As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him” (ESV). Unlike imperfect human fathers, God's character is defined by compassion, faithfulness, and patience. He is “a father to the fatherless” (Psalm 68:5, ESV), stepping into that role with care and consistency. As believers come to know God's true nature, their hearts can begin to soften toward the idea of calling Him “Father” with genuine trust and love.

Practical Steps to Deepen the Connection

Developing a deeper connection with God the Father involves both prayer and intentional relationship-building. Just as with any relationship, time and communication are essential. Start by addressing God as “Father” in prayer. This small act reinforces the reality of His role in your life. Spend time reading Scriptures that reveal His character, such as Luke 15:11-32 (The Parable of the Prodigal Son), which beautifully illustrates the Father’s open arms and loving heart.

Additionally, journaling your prayers or reflections can help clarify emotions and track spiritual growth. Surround yourself with a faith community where God's fatherhood is modeled through healthy relationships, accountability, and support. For some, engaging in counseling or pastoral care may be a necessary part of reconciling their past and inviting God into that space for healing.

The Ongoing Journey of Knowing God

Developing a connection with God as Father is not a one-time decision, but an ongoing journey. It involves vulnerability, trust, and sometimes wrestling with deep emotional wounds. Yet, the reward is immense. As believers grow in their understanding of God’s character and accept His love, they begin to live more freely and confidently as His children.

The Apostle Paul writes, “The Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father’” (Romans 8:15, NIV). This kind of intimate relationship is available to every believer. Regardless of one’s background, God invites all His children into a bond that is eternal and unbreakable.

Floyd Godfrey PhD is a Board Certified Christian Counselor and has facilitated groups within different churches and denominations over the past 30 years. He worked as a licensed clinician for 23 years and provided supervision and training for other counselors as they worked toward independent licensure. You can read more about Floyd Godfrey PhD at www.FloydGodfrey.com.

References
Norton, G. (2025). Making His Prayer Your Prayer. Hyperspace Chief Publications.