By Dr. Floyd Godfrey

Friendship is one of the most profound and rewarding blessing God has given us. Within Christian communities, the role of healthy friendships is vital, not only for emotional and spiritual support but also for building strong families and vibrant churches. Friendships are part of God’s design for humanity, offering connection, encouragement, and accountability. Yet in today’s fast-paced and highly critical culture, many people struggle to build and maintain strong, Christ-centered friendships.

According to McGinnis (2004), a foundational principle of healthy friendships is learning how to be supportive without being critical. He cautions, “Be cautious with criticism” (p. 68), noting that many people fall into the habit of correcting others rather than building them up. For Christians, this is a crucial reminder. Scripture calls believers to speak truth in love (Ephesians 4:15), and to “encourage one another and build each other up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11, NIV). McGinnis rightly observes that “Some people get a feeling of well-being and superiority from criticizing their friends... One of the most remarkable things about Jesus was that he was so different from the reformers who devoted themselves to telling people how they should change and shape up” (p. 68). Jesus modeled compassion, acceptance, and grace; qualities that should define our closest friendships.

A healthy friendship does not demand conformity. Instead, it celebrates individuality and helps others grow into who God created them to be. McGinnis (2004) challenges readers to, “Rather than urging your loved ones to conform, encourage their uniqueness. Everyone has dreams, dreams that no one else has, and you can make yourself loved by encouraging those aspirations” (p. 73). This wisdom mirrors biblical truth. Paul tells us in Romans 12:6 that “we have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.” A friend who honors and nurtures the uniqueness of others becomes a vessel of God's grace and support.

For parents and pastors, the importance of modeling and teaching healthy friendships cannot be overstated. Children learn by watching how adults interact with their peers. When adults handle conflict with humility and gentleness, or when they listen attentively rather than judge, children learn what godly friendship looks like. Within church communities, fostering a culture of encouragement and affirmation helps create spaces where people feel safe to share, grow, and walk alongside one another in faith.

Ultimately, healthy friendships require intentionality. They are built through consistent kindness, active listening, shared experiences, and spiritual connection. As followers of Christ, we are called to be the kind of friend who reflects the heart of Jesus, one who uplifts rather than tears down, one who encourages rather than criticizes. When we pursue friendships rooted in love, grace, and truth, we not only enrich our own lives but also become instruments of healing and hope in the lives of others.

Floyd Godfrey PhD is a Board Certified Christian Counselor and has facilitated groups within different churches and denominations over the past 30 years. He worked as a licensed clinician for 23 years and provided supervision and training for other counselors as they worked toward independent licensure. You can read more about Floyd Godfrey PhD at www.FloydGodfrey.com.

References
McGinnis, A. L. (2004). The friendship factor: How to get closer to the people you care for. Augsburg; Alban.