By Floyd Godfrey, PhD

Understanding the Challenge
Today’s parents face an unprecedented task. They must guide their teens through a culture steeped in sexual imagery, internet accessibility, and an increasingly distorted view of sexuality. As Weiss and Glaser (2021) note, "You want to help your son or daughter navigate a digitally connected, pornography-saturated culture, but you're also dealing with past pain or present struggles" (p. 59). Many adults carry unresolved shame or trauma around their own sexual experiences or exposure to pornography, and these unresolved emotions can hinder their ability to parent with clarity and courage.

Professionals like Patrick Carnes have long emphasized that shame and secrecy fuel addiction cycles. This principle is just as relevant for parenting; when parents are silent or uncomfortable, children interpret that silence as shame. Unfortunately, "only a small minority of today's parents remember regular, healthy conversations with their parents about God's plan for sex" (Weiss & Glaser, 2021, p. 61). This absence of dialogue perpetuates discomfort across generations.

Educational Strategies
The key to helping teens build a healthy sexual ethic lies in parental presence and intentional conversations. Education should not begin with fear or shame, but with values and curiosity. Parents are encouraged to teach their teens that sexuality is a gift designed with purpose. Effective strategies include offering age-appropriate facts, using open-ended questions, and focusing on God's design for intimacy rather than solely warning against pornography.

A vital educational tactic is proactive engagement. If parents wait until an issue arises, they miss the opportunity to shape their child’s understanding. Instead, regular conversations foster trust and allow teens to process misinformation encountered online. Weiss and Glaser (2021) remind us, "No matter what we are dealing with personally, if we really want to help our kids, we must learn to be fully present with them as their stories unfold" (p. 60).

The Role of Therapeutic and Coaching Interventions
Parents who feel overwhelmed or unsure should know they are not alone. Seeking support from therapists, coaches, or support groups is not a sign of failure, but a step toward healing and empowerment. Unresolved trauma in parents can impact how they approach sex-related topics. Processing one's own story through therapy can break generational cycles of shame and silence.

Therapeutic coaching can also provide scripts and scenarios for how to initiate tough conversations. Professionals can help parents identify their core fears and build confidence in addressing sensitive issues. Education is most powerful when paired with authenticity. Parents do not need to have all the answers; they simply need to be safe, honest, and consistent.

Moving Forward with Hope and Courage
Speaking to teens about sex and pornography may feel daunting, but it is an act of love and leadership. Parents are not called to be perfect, but to be present. When they address their own wounds and engage with compassion, they become powerful allies in their children’s development.

As a generation of parents rises to speak boldly and truthfully, they disrupt the silence that has too often accompanied sexual confusion. Healing begins with honesty, and guidance begins with courage.

Floyd Godfrey, PhD is a Clinical Sexologist and a Certified Sex Addiction Specialist. He has been guiding clients since 2000 and currently speaks and provides consulting and mental health coaching across the globe. To learn more about Floyd Godfrey, PhD please visit his website: www.FloydGodfrey.com

References
Weiss, D., & Glaser, J. (2021). Treading boldly through a pornographic world: A field guide for parents. Salem Press.