Floyd Godfrey, PhD

In today’s digital age, discovering that a child has been exposed to or experimenting with pornography can be deeply unsettling for parents. This sensitive situation presents an opportunity for Christian parents to guide their children through a healthy understanding of sexuality, grounded in biblical principles. It’s essential to approach such conversations with grace and truth, avoiding the pitfalls of shame and fear, to truly support your child’s spiritual and emotional development.

Addressing Concerns with Compassion

When addressing the issue of pornography, it's crucial to begin with a mindset of understanding and empathy. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Start by expressing your concerns calmly and clearly without inducing shame. Try and bracket any fear or anxiety you have. This approach helps maintain an open line of communication and reassures your child that they can trust you with their struggles.

Preventing the Fear Cycle

As parents, it's natural to fear for our children’s moral and spiritual well-being, especially when faced with challenges like pornography. However, dwelling in fear can impede our ability to effectively guide them. Philippians 4:6-7 offers powerful advice: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Trusting God and seeking His wisdom allows parents to remain calm and focused, fostering a stable environment where children can thrive without fear.

Conveying Parental Standards Without Shame

It’s important to clearly communicate family values regarding sexuality and internet use. Rather than framing these standards as a list of “don'ts,” focus on the “whys” behind these guidelines, discussing the benefits of purity, respect, and self-control as taught in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5. This approach helps children understand the value of these principles in their own lives.

Addressing Curiosity in a Healthy Way

Curiosity about sex is a natural part of growing up. Christian parents can address this curiosity by providing age-appropriate information that aligns with Christian values. Rather than leaving children to navigate their questions alone, be proactive in discussing these topics openly and honestly, offering them reliable resources and biblical context.

Keeping Communication Open

Finally, it’s vital to ensure that your child feels comfortable coming to you with future questions or concerns. This ongoing dialogue can be facilitated by regularly scheduling time to talk about any topic of their choosing, reinforcing the assurance that you are always available and approachable.

In conclusion, guiding your child through their understanding of sexuality from a Christian perspective is not just about preventing exposure to harmful content; it’s about nurturing an environment where open, honest communication flourishes and where biblical values are celebrated and understood. Encourage your children to see you as a source of wisdom and guidance, reflecting the love and light of Christ in all aspects of life.

Floyd Godfrey, Ph.D., is a Board Certified Christian Counselor and a Clinical Sexologist. He has facilitated groups within different churches and denominations over the past 30 years. He worked as a licensed counselor for 23 years. You can read more about Floyd Godfrey, Ph.D., at www.FloydGodfrey.com.